Tag: Relationship

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Year In Review

Sanjay Sabarwal

As 2020 closes in, I have been eager to review my year,  figure out what worked, what didn’t and hit the ground running. This past weekend, I managed to devote a few hours to reviewing my planner and my 2019 notebook, and I can say there was a lot of things I learned about myself, and see areas to focus on for the coming year.  The list isn’t comprehensive, but it is stuff that stood out for me.  It is also not to humble brag, but to keep myself on track and accountable.

In 2019, I managed to

  • Attend the Samurai Game Workshop
  • Try Indoor Rock Climbing
  • Experience a Sensory Deprivation Tank
  • Reread and do The Artist’s Way
  • Write a Novel in a Month
  • Ate more vegan but not as regularly as I’d hoped for
  • Adopt an amazing Immigration Law Mentor
  • Do 3 legal Seminars
  • Volunteer 100s of hours at The Harriet Buhai as a family law attorney
  • Volunteer dozens of hours at the LACBA Immigration Legal Aid Project
  • Travel to Seattle, New York and Las Vegas
  • Run a Half Marathon
  • Read a dozen  plus books
  • Deadlift 375 pounds
  • Squat 245 pounds
  • Create a new accountability group to keep me on tasks for my goals
  • Continue my weekly accountability group call for most of the year. \

Yet, when I look at the list, I see so much more possibility for 2020. So much to still learn, grow from, so much more I could accomplish. I noticed that around October is when I ran out of juice and stopped posting updates in my planner. I did increase my note taking in the notebook, and I also faithfully updated my top weekly and monthly goals in a Google sheet I shared with 3 other people on a regular basis.  I also noted that I didn’t add too many personal things in my planner or notebook. Either it didn’t happen, or I didn’t give it the importance it deserves. There is also my nagging habit of being annoyed at things that I cannot control or being in judgement of others and their quirks. Too often, I am quick to assume or judge rather than taking the time to see the person in their light and not my experience. That changes in the coming year.

For 2020, I plan to focus in 3 major areas: Health, Law Practice and Relationships. To that end, I envision doing the following:

Health

  1. Run a Marathon
  2. Crossfit average 3 times a week and improve my weightlifting numbers and finally conquer the pull up
  3. Run a triathlon

Law Practice

  1. Do a minimum of 6 legal/educational seminars
  2. Complete mentorship on Immigration Law
  3. Build Referral Network through BNI and Provisors

Relationships

  1. Year of Travel with my wife
  2. Find New Place
  3. Phone Roulette: call someone randomly when free instead of scrolling mindlessly when waiting a prolonged time

It might seem foolish or even egotistical to make so many goals but I truly believe in the quote “A goal is a dream with a deadline.”  Happy New Year and I look forward to my journey in 2020!

 

Myself

Haven

Sanjay Sabarwal
Pork Jam at Haven Gastro Pub
Pork Jam at Haven Gastro Pub (Photo credit: 3j0hn)

Last night, I had drinks with a great friend. While there, I realized that this was a friend who I had known for years, and we had shared some really great history.  We had a life that many in my life now were not aware of. We had visited each other so often that he had asked me to be the Godfather of his son.  An honor I do not take lightly. I also felt guilty that it had taken us almost 6 months to get together, and that was only after he pushed hard for us to get together. As I sat there, and we began as if we never left off, it hit me hard that I had missed so much time in between our meetings.

I wonder why sometimes we drift off from meaningful and fulfilling relationships.  I want to say because we get busy with others or work yet those are just excuses. Real relationships are cultivated but more importantly if they are real they do not wither away.  I did wonder and I asked why it took for us to get together.  My theory was I had done something to offend him or perhaps the people in his life don’t care as much for me. He brushed it aside in a moment and flat-out said that he really was just working hard.  Just hearing that put me at ease.  For my part. I admitted that it has taken me almost 6 months from my surgery to finally feel like myself again.  I remember the neurosurgeon saying it would take time, but I truly did not believe him.

Yet it took one night for it to hit home.  I woke up at 545am yesterday on my own before going to an early morning breakfast briefing, and then had a full day of working and working out. I also started on a new app (well for me) http://www.calm.com which allows to practice meditation and mindfulness anywhere so while I drove I used it. I picked up my cousin from the airport at 815pm and then met him at the Haven Gastropub at 930 pm which I left from at midnight. And although I was fearful that I would not have the energy, not once did I feel tired. In fact, after meeting with him I felt energized and ready to do more.

I am at a place now where I see that for the things I want in life, I need to go after them rather than waiting around which also includes loving my beautiful wife and cherishing each and every moment that we have.

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Myself, Preeti

Truth

Sanjay Sabarwal

I spent 20  minutes trying to copy an image that perfectly captures my feelings and in my quest to get that picture right, I lost sight that I needed to write.  There was a reason I am at an unholy hour on a Sunday night.  A need to get it out all out.  But the truth is, I am avoiding writing because this year will perhaps be the culmination of something I hadn’t dared to think about in years: Marriage.

In a way, I am already married, and the vision of being with the one I love for the rest of my life not at all daunting, in fact even exciting.  Yet I do not want to cross this path alone, and I do not want to do it in darkness.  No more hiding.  No more lying.  The truth will set us free, but more importantly allow us to live.

Lately, I have become superstitious that what my beautiful love is going through can be cleansed by the truth.  I no longer want to lie to anyone about anything.  Yes, to answer the ones wronged, I am trying to be AN ANGEL because I am willing to do whatever it takes to start a life partnership on a path of clarity, reality but best of all honesty.

It’s not easy as it looks.  Recently, I told a dear friend about her fiancée (who also happens to be a good friend of mine) who I felt cheated on her (a mere two weeks after he proposed to her) based on what he told me.  Yes, I broke the man rules because the truth is that I am not one of the boys, and I can no longer keep quiet on what is wrong.  As someone pointed out, as long as your know you will lose one friend, then go for it.  And I did, and the only thing I really have to show for it is that my conscience is clear, I am less one friend and discovering that the person I thought to be “saved” has decided to go back to the friend. So now I am less two friend, full of the feeling that determined people will hurt themselves no matter what anyone does, and perhaps nothing will change in life except me.

And then there is Preeti’s cousin who lives 15 miles away but has not bothered to call, or even stop by even though she’s fighting for her life and future.  Sure, he can go see his girlfriend but heaven forbid he actually check on a supposed close family member.  And then I caught myself.  I could do this all day long.  I could begin to stop talking to everyone that I think has done me or Preeti wrong but then there wouldn’t be many friends left.  The reality is, people are selfish, dishonest, indifferent but they also happen to be dearest to someone in our lives.  What do you do then?  Quit friends?  Quit life?  Quit the truth?  No, I realize.  You move on.  You forget.  The ones that mean something stick around, and the ones that do not, vanish.  The truth makes certain of that.

photo

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