Brownness

Planning For 2020

2020 goals reminder – handwriting on an isolated sticky note, New Year resolutions and goal setting concept

2019 was a year of exploration and getting used to being uncomfortable. Along with some false starts, and taking on more projects that I could handle, I learned that being busy all the time not only does not serve me, it detracts from my quality of life. As the year approaches to a close, I am grateful for all the learning, and now it’s time to put that knowledge to use in 2020. My three overriding goals for 2020 are: 1. Relationships 2. Health 3. Law Practice (in that order of importance).  I get to continually ask if the things that I am doing serve those purposes.  It’s easy to try new, shiny things, but if all I do is jump from one exciting to another, when will I actually execute to success that things that support my progress.

So 2020 is about simplicity, about focus, about being uncomfortable in these three areas rather than all areas of my life. So why these 3 things?  Because they are what bring me joy and fear and accountability. All three allow growth, depth, and learning. All three push me to be the best version of myself. All three get me to be a better Sanjay.  Yet, there is also a growing nervousness in  me that even with three areas, I may be doing too much. Or not enough. Or worse; fail at all three.

So I am looking for tools, people and resources that best support me. What are some of yours?  I would love to know.

Happy Monday!

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Grateful

I am often amazed at how blessed I am when I take the time to count my blessings. From loving in laws to an amazing close knit family to decades long friendships, it astonishes me how rich I am. Yet, there are many days where I choose to feel alone rather than seek support, and yet somehow, my loved ones always seem to know. Someone will always reach out even when, as usual, I don’t seek them. I realize now that just as I notice when someone close to me is acting out of character, there are others who do the same for me.

These past few days have been amazing in the sense of being able to see how much love I am surrounded by.  Yet (there is a always a yet), there are times when I feel alone, don’t wish to be bothered or bother others with my issues, and it is precisely then when someone shows up (the list is exhaustive), and yet again I am not allowed to wallow. Are there are down days? Yes. But continuous days with no one checking in? Never. It is a lesson I keep forgetting because truth be told, it is easier sometimes to feel sorry for myself, to want to give up, to not do what I promised, to just wallow in the shit.

So I am grateful, grateful for those who see me, grateful for those who pull me up when I manage to drag myself down repeatedly, grateful for having so much and forgetting that support is always there like life and I just have to reach out. It is a dizzying feeling to know that I am loved, and more than that, to know that I matter.  So as the 2019 reaches to a close, I take this moment to be grateful for all that I have, and I look forward to 2020.

Happy Monday!