Month: July 2008

For once, the day is welcomed and the challenges strapped on instead of being thrown upon.  For once, resolution is the key to my sucess rather than delusions.  We all have chances to start over anytime we feel.  Its the motivation to do it that is hard to find.  What makes a want an actual event is the creation of a habit.  I have a lot to learn, that much I know.  I have even more to change about myself, and I am slowly beginning to just accept that realization.  THe changes themselves are far ahead, but I have a goal to achieve to.  All my life, its what has motivated me, but the last few years have been a blur of not knowing what my own life goals were.  It was easy to bemoan the state of affairs in my life, or better yet my past and worse others.  So today I pledge to myself to be the person I desire to be. 

So here it goes, Monday is truly the first day in the week of the rest of my life.   I am sure there will plenty of other first days, but that doesnt give me the excuse to give up on today.  So Happy Monday to me, and to you as well.  May each day be a chance to be the person we wish to be.  I know I am going to try. 🙂

This cold I will conquer, and today will be a good day.  My mantras for the day.  Ever so slightly, I change hopefully for the better but for sure I age 🙂  Cant stop life, but sometimes dont feel like living, but then sunlight hits me, a smile sneaks out of me, and all is well.  The past few days are a creation of the past so I breathe a bit easier.  Work definitely a pleasure, and family a blessed mixture.  So I go onto the day for once with a smile and a light heart, and savoring great friends, intriguing co-workers, a loving family and now a smiling soul mate.  What more can I ask from a Wednesday? Oh I know, more wednesdays like this. 

They will come, I am sure for it.  When your surrounded by joy and greatness, we cant help but respond to it.  Here’s hoping to lighter posts, not less depth but less pain.  🙂

I approach this Monday differently and so far it has not disappointed.  A little bit of work, a little dash of legelases, a sprinkle of friendship, and a huge dose of longing for the ones you love.  But its there, that little light at the end that tells you that life can be better if you choose for it be.  Pick today to be the day you choose to be in a good mood, and guess what things can be better. 

What I have been reading and hearing lately is that I am the master of evertyhing that I feel and do.  Everything is a choice so just admitting mistakes is not enough, working on them, figuring out why I do them is also a choice that I need to make more often.  And as the day closes today, I still made mistakes but I also learned a lot on what I can do better.  I enjoyed working, learning in life about life and just for once living the day not worrying about what ifs.  Just really going through the day focused on learning, doing, and CHOOSING to be in a good Monday.

Day 1, gone, 1 mistake made.  I have 6 more days and chances to keep her smiling.  I will not give up.  And then ofcourse, there are the other dear ones in my life who dont ask for much and lately I havent given them much either.  I will choose to do right by them as well.  So many choices, and I will keep at it till I get it right.  Failure is not an option.  Thats what I choose to do. 🙂

Happy Monday!

Funny how some words can touch you while others just float right by you.  Recently, I have been lucky to have been touched.  From the comic book Y to 30 Things You Need to Know, I derived a sense of myself that just wasnt visible for a while.  And then ofcourse there has been writing.  As I bled onto this page, its not a sense of loss anymore that accompanies but a determination to make things right once more.  I am a mistake waiting to happen, and they are my best friends.  But the first step in anything is recognizing it then naming it, and then allowing it to shape you.  So perhaps I have a chance instead to be something more meaningful than a stupid mistake. 

There isnt a new me anymore, but there is a new hope for dealing with things in life better.  I am responsible for my actions, and also my feelings.  And I will continue to whine about them.  But I also hope to accompany them with more action, more attempts at cutting off the source of my torments.  ANd just being more me, than being hopeful.  This post may sound cyclical maybe even contradictory, but its really about accepting my actions, or non actions, and trying to change them so I can find the real me.

I just hope its not a very long wait.

For once the day begins as determined, and it actually feels like I can control my destiny.  The ebb and flow of insecurity is still there, but now its battering against a will to do and feel better.  I am sure there will be breaches, but for once I am enjoying handling things as they should be.  It just feels right, and it just makes sense.  Reading law has now become a recognized and essential activity rather than something to be dreaded.  With these simples words, I now construct a better day.  And perhaps just perhaps a better me.

For once, the less said the better 🙂

A day passes, and a mere 10 hours seems to fall behind me as time marked but also well spent.  In some ways, the same things were repeated or learned in a different way, but for once it seems like progress rather than a rehash of a past mistake.  The flicker of the light is there, but I just hope its not a last breath that I am confusing myself with.  All riddles aside, today was officially “I got work done” day, and also a day where we talked normally as if all was right in our lives.  So I am smiling wider than normal today, but the dull ache is there.  Perhaps there so I dont forget the new phase in our lives. 

Feels strange somewhat to not have a person around all the time when they are almost joined with you at the heart.  Probably exaggerated, but the jab in my heart when I think about her feels quite real.  But I remain strong, if not for anything else, just so she is reassured that we are doing well.  A casual day spent in light conversation and serious work, and for once I have the energy to face the night alone and know that dawn of progress slowly alights my life.

Or maybe I just dont have my contacts in, and my glasses are deceiving me.  Whatever it is, illusion, optimism, an out and out lie, this Tuesday was spent a lot more comfortably than in the past.  And for now, that is more than enough.