Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Resistance is Futile!

These past few days, I’ve noticed a nasty habit of mine. It was sobering, and made me realize that  I’ve made some of my work and my relationships a lot harder than they needed to be. It hit me that lately, I jump the gun and interrupt another while they are finishing their thought. Usually, my interruption is negative or based on what I think they are saying even though they are not finished saying it.

Not only has that caused tension, but it also made communicating with me tougher all because I couldn’t take the time to be present, really listen to their request or statement, and then respond.

An honest friend just asked me what’s up with that when I admitted to my bad habit. And the first thing that came up was fear. Fear of being sidetracked, of being wrong, of more work I couldn’t do, of being overwhelmed, of letting others down, of not being able to get to all my commitments to others and myself. Fear, fear, fear.  Just drowning in that emotion when all it took was taking a moment, breathe it in, be present, listen and then shift into being open to their words.

It’s sobering to realize that as much as I am proud of what I have accomplished, this tendency of mine to resist not only damages my relationships, it pushes me back.  My intent going forward is to take a moment, let the person finish their thought, summarize what I heard or understood, and then respond after I shift. It’s not going to be easy to drown out the fear, but it’s worth it if I don’t want to lose relationships and move forward in life.

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

A Working Weekend

I never thought working 7 days in a row would be something I would appreciate but then it hit me that you have to consider it work or something not enjoyable to feel tired. To be fair. I had on different hats this week. From acting Regional Manager to Vice President of the Artesia Chamber of Commerce and then finally working on legal matters for my clients for the Law offices of Sanjay Sabarwal, these all could be seen as work or an expression of my passion to be in contribution.

Over and over, it comes back to me that when I am in service, it’s doesn’t feel like work. However, it also has to act as a battery charger for my soul, and I also have to remember to engage in self-care such as working out, meditating, writing, and spending time with my loved ones. When I work on my soul, my heart expands. It is easy to lose sight of my why sometimes, but it’s usually not because of tiredness but fear of doing things I am not comfortable doing (like interacting with businesses, working the front desk, or handling new legal issues).

It’s easy to do a 9 to 5 job, or even just take Ziba for granted and act as an absentee owner, but more engaging and rewarding when I dig into the weeds in all aspects of my life. So although I worked, in a way, I didn’t.

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Another Weekend or Was it?

Yet another surreal weekend. Saturday, I got the chance to experience a celebration for someone who truly epitomized love and compassion. His passing was met with words about he lived his life to the fullest, reminding me of Papa, and being hit with gratitude so all the beautiful blessings as people who had entered my life. As I listened, I could not help offering thanks to the Universe for allowing me so much time with loved ones. My cousin’s father in law made me feel special each time I met him. His genuine curiosity about me each time we met left a lasting impression, and it became apparent that he did that for anyone that crossed his path. I hope one day to reach even ten percent of that generosity in humanity.

It could not be a coincidence that same Saturday, I ended the day with special friends where we laughed till our stomachs hurt, and got a chance to reconnect after a long time. It made me even more special to take a moment to acknowledge that to myself and to them. It’s moments like these that I remember rather than wallowing in the negative.

More and more, I believe life is a celebration, and I need to take any time given to me to enjoy what I have not what I missed out on or don’t have. Regret is a fool’s game because it serves no other purpose than to focus on things you cannot change rather than on what you can.

Happy monday!

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal, My Past, Myself

365 Days

And just like that  a year has passed. Papa. I would have never thought I wouldn’t hear your voice again or that not see you comb your hair right before a picture. I hear you in my head. You  enjoyed life, and made it your mission to be silly and make others laugh, and I catch myself doing the same. I refuse to be melancholy or be sad every day because that is not my way to honoring you. It still isn’t easy accepting it, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Each morning in the Gurudwara, I acknowledge that I miss you, and then move forward and keep you in mind as I practice law, and do the things you wished for all of us. I regret that I didn’t get more time, but then again, the time we had been so wonderful that I count myself blessed.

One thing is clear that in the year you have been gone, I am different, but in a good way. Your absence a constant reminder that I get to honor you not drown myself in self-pity. I gotta tell you, it hasn’t been easy. The house of laughter you created had fewer laughs, but we are your children, and we have managed a few. Not much, but a few. And then there will be more laughter, more silliness, more love for music. more Ziba Music because you ensured you left a legacy with your family.

So although it’s been 365 days, not a single one has passed without you in our hearts and minds.

Papa Loves You.

Sanjay Loves You

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Loving Time with Others

Over the weekend, I found out a friend’s mom passed away and instantly regret enveloped me as I’d been meaning to go visit her. Time and time, it appears that life can get away from me while doing tasks and knocking off to do lists instead of getting loving time with others.  It sometimes feels pointless to have a vision for myself when it does not include making time to show and be love for others.

Yet there is a part of me at peace because I feel I can be of service to my friend and his family. Her passing reminded me where I was at when my father died and the best thing I got offered were people who just came to be around me. So I did that, and I plan to continue because by being around my friend, I honor his mother, but most of all, I honor our friendship.

I am not gonna lie. It isn’t easy to ignore my regret, and it shouldn’t be because it become a reminder of how I can be better. Sometimes, I get too busy patting myself on the back, when in reality, I have a long way to go. This weekend served me that reminder with a punch to the emotional gut.

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Living in Committment

This month I committed to reading 5 books, putting on 5 pounds of muscle. be in service consistently, be in integrity in my role at Ziba and continue growing my law practice. Some have pointed out that I have too much on my plate, and others keep asking how long I can keep it up.  Yet what is the point of living of vision if you are not striving to be your best in all categories of your life? I will not be defined by just by my work, hobbies or passions. Just as we are multilayered in emotions, I believe setting high goals is the way to live a life of legacy.

Sure, are some days harder than others? You betcha!  Especially with immense help of my new networking group BNI, I am getting multiple referrals, and others are sending me their loved ones. As my responsibility grows, instead of overwhelming me, it empowers me as I know I could be doing even more. I have learnt and communication and renegotiating commitments are valuable tools when I am present and aware that I may not be able to get to something. Being in integrity may not always mean that I will finish everything as planned because reality is life happens and there are unexpected hiccups.

Yet what I have found is that by either being vulnerable and seeking support, or just communicating and renegotiating a new time, 99% of my stress is dealt with. So I will continue on this journey until I cannot because I want to live a life of purpose not just existence.