Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

A Few Firsts

Today, I feel sorry for myself as I recover from the flu.I am beyond frustrated that within two weeks,  I have gotten sick twice. Yet, I can’t allow myself to wallow. Last week, I got my first pull up in and it felt amazing to know that something that was unattainable for so long was finally within reach. Then there were some very successful depositions that are leading to a mediation and a case that felt never-ending how has an end in sight. As I push myself to become comfortable being uncomfortable. it hits me that taking ownership and responsibility for my vision means never laying blame on others. It also means a hard look at myself when results are not there. And I have to say it sucks.

It is east to feel sorry and blame others, but when I live in responsibility and action, it means all roads come through me. No more excuses, justifications. and rationalizations. So I push through even on days  when I don’t feel a 100% or when I don’t want to do certain things. I know in order to grow, I get to stretch and remove all the reasons for why and focus on why not.

Brownness, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Present Nostalgia

It’s been a mixed bag of emotions.  From berating myself for not doing well at Crossfit to belly filled laughter with an old friend who happens to be a Bhangra celebrity to tearing my hair out at operations at my studios, it has been another full week. I am noticing a new pattern in my life. Challenges come up. I handle them. Then when sometimes I am about to give up, an old picture of something or someone comes up, or I am reminded of an old memory, and so instead of feeling overwhelmed, a sense of peace comes over me.

As I stretch myself with the law office, Ziba, Crossfit, Writing. BNI, Artesia Chamber, it hits me that when I see all these are chores. I get a reminder in the form of nostalgia of how much fun it all can and has been. It is easy to construe all this work or really see it as a form of growth. Sure, it is not possible to do all of them well at the same time, however this is where structure, organization and passion come into play. I can either complain about or do something about it. So I communicate, renegotiate, or complete it. I keep moving, using Nostalgia as my fuel that one day I will look back, and reflect with pride, laughter or a lesson learned.

Happy Monday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal


I never quite know what I am going to write about until I allow myself to feel my thoughts and emotions in the morning quiet. The lessons from B.K Shivani are great reminders that when you start the day with positivity, it follows that positive things happen or one handles difficult situations with greater presence and calm.

Last Saturday, I had plenty of reason not to get up and head to the gym to do 18.1, the first of five workouts out for the Crossfit Open 2018. I was still recovering from the flu. I hadn’t gotten back into my training regimen of regular Crossfit workouts, and then there was the ever-present fear of failing in front of my peers at the Box. So many reasons NOT to workout or participate, but yet I knew it was fear in myself PRETENDING to be real reasons. It didn’t matter what my score would be, all that mattered was me SHOWING UP.

It was interesting to also hear on a new podcast (well for me anyway) that there are many of us who CHOOSE to do things as we are on a schedule yet there is NO ONE except OURSELVES pushing us to do it. There is not a day I don’t think about writing or working out. And more and more. the excuses become longer on why I CANT, WONT, OR SHOULDNT, yet time and time again I find myself at the box or in front of the laptop because if I don’t push myself then how will growth happen?

So I keep going out there, keep doing things that scrap the crap out of me, and keep just pushing. I hope you do the same.

Happy Monday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

On Being Selfish

This weekend was a bit rough as my a lot of family gathered to celebrate my uncle’s 80th birthday. I am truly blessed to have a loving family that I get to share so much with, but I chose not to attend. I chose instead to use the weekend to work on a seminar and a personal essay.

On the surface, it appears shallow and career driven, yet really it was about self-care.  I have said for years that I wish to be in private practice and do more writing. This week, I get to do a presentation on business law, and I will be submitting my personal essay to my Writers Critique group .  It was one of the most satisfying weekends I could think of in terms of personal goals. I got to visit friends, family friends, personal care, but more than anything else I got to make my vision a reality. I put measurable steps forward towards being a business lawyer and a writer.

It hit me that sometimes it is important to take care part in self-care that appears selfish at the outset, but it fills you and makes you feel whole, and proud that for once instead of words, I put myself into action rather than just vision.

Self care is not selfishness. It is energy that restores me, and allows me to be the best version of myself.

Happy Monday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

The Unfinished Me

It is hard to believe that we are already in the middle of February, the days get faster and faster, and I cannot let go of this nagging feeling to go, go, go! There is a constant energy inside me which pushes me to be the best version of myself, and I am not satisfied with my progress in some matters such as my writing and being in service. Each day feels as if I am playing catch up, yet it is not an emotion of putting myself down but pushing myself forward.

There are many around me suffering me, and it hits me that life is a treasure to be treasured and instead of focusing on what I don’t have. I get to celebrate my blessings. If I am being completely honest, it is not always easy but more and more I set myself up ways to win by just showing up, my having a morning routine that feeds me emotionally, physically and spiritually.

It has become a pleasure to take in the mornings where I sit in silence and contemplate my day, and that nervousness inside me that used to hold me back from jumping into the best version of myself now propels to take ever more chances.  I finally get so many of my father’s lessons, and more and more I realize that a Sabarwal man does not take things or people for granted. He gets to leave the world better than he found it. So off I got to another day.

Happy Monday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Wrapping up January 2018

It feels as if I just celebrated the end of last year and now one month in 2018 has passed. More and more often, the months go by and I struggle to maintain or create new habits and it hits me that as long as I strive to be the best version of myself, I cannot worry about what is pending. It is a constant reminder to love the moment, and not allow my mind to make up a story of how things really are. It is easy to slide into negativity or despair, or take each moment for what it is and keep working at it.

It is easy to criticize and berate myself that I didn’t eat as healthy as I wished, didn’t work out as many times or failed to get more clients, or allow myself breathing room and accept that so much of life is out of my control and that all I can do is be the best version of myself, put my foot forward and take a step towards being myself. In these quiet moments, when I slow down, my mind also slows and does not barrage me with how much I am NOT getting done.

I breathe. I contemplate. I make to do lists. I put it all in a physical form, and then I feel myself loosen, and instead of dread I meet the week with anticipation.

Happy Monday all!