Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Soulful Suffering

Last week, I began saying affirmations as often as I remember. The main one being “I am a peaceful soul.”  Yes more often than not I was at war with my emotions. From irritation and anger, to grief and self-pity, it felt as if the affirmation awoke parts of me that I had been unaware of. Then it hit me how much I judgement I sat all day long, and as  I did the affirmation it highlighted how much of a problem my negative thinking created in my life.

It didn’t help that it was a rough week as I missed my aunt and dad, and it was hard to continue saying I am a peaceful soul when I felt anything but peaceful. Yet I also knew that my rationalizing my constant judgement about others and my emotions were not helping, in fact, were making my days a lot harder than they needed to be.

There were some wins, moments I was proud of myself, ways I could be in contribution to others, and it hit me that kind of work took time. Transformation and negative self talk did not just go away.  I also was fighting a river of negativity and judgement with a few dribbles of positive affirmations, but still it starts with one drop. So I keep working on myself, with the end in mind.

Happy Monday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Stretching Myself

It’s been a hectic few weeks, and it hit me that the pace is picking up. I feel stretched in all areas of my life, and what once felt overwhelming now is a reminder how far I have to go.  There are days I don’t want to wake up at 5:30 to do through my morning routines, days when I ask myself no one will care if I don’t do all that I set out to do yet, but there is that niggling voice in my head anyway.

Each day, there is a sense of urgency, and I also keep meeting new people who inspire me to be the best version of myself.  I don’t always succeed, in fact more often than not, I fail. Yet with each fall, I see another way to get back up. It’s not easy, and if  I am honest, there are way more days when I just want to quit.

But I get back up. I learn. I grow. I meet others, and I get inspired.  I am convinced that without growth, my ideas and energy will go stale. So I keep listening to the Rocky 4 soundtrack, and I keep at it. Happy Sunday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

You Are What You Consume

This morning I got a chance to listen to a whole program of B. K Shivani that made a lot of sense to me. She pointed out that in today’s world, what we consume, from food to social media, news, music and conversations form a part of us even when we tell ourselves that we wish to avoid the negative. It hit me that there are things I consume that stay with me long after (namely news and negative conversations) that as much as I don’t want to affect me, become a part of me.  Not only that, those things get amplified and stronger and more likely as more and more of it is consumed by others.

Now I see a pattern that when I start my day on a positive note and a healthy morning routine, I Am much more able to stay on track in terms of my health, emotions and diet. When I allow worry and negativity to begin my day, I not only impact my day, but contribute negatively to others. I have to say it is a challenge because just like a lifestyle change, being present and positive is a daily and continuous process that takes patience, willingness and an openness without judgement that can be hard to maintain.

Yet more and more I am learning towards getting better at this because I am determined to live and be the best version of myself not just for my sake but for the sake of my loved ones.

Happy Monday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

A Few Firsts

Today, I feel sorry for myself as I recover from the flu.I am beyond frustrated that within two weeks,  I have gotten sick twice. Yet, I can’t allow myself to wallow. Last week, I got my first pull up in and it felt amazing to know that something that was unattainable for so long was finally within reach. Then there were some very successful depositions that are leading to a mediation and a case that felt never-ending how has an end in sight. As I push myself to become comfortable being uncomfortable. it hits me that taking ownership and responsibility for my vision means never laying blame on others. It also means a hard look at myself when results are not there. And I have to say it sucks.

It is east to feel sorry and blame others, but when I live in responsibility and action, it means all roads come through me. No more excuses, justifications. and rationalizations. So I push through even on days  when I don’t feel a 100% or when I don’t want to do certain things. I know in order to grow, I get to stretch and remove all the reasons for why and focus on why not.

Brownness, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Present Nostalgia

It’s been a mixed bag of emotions.  From berating myself for not doing well at Crossfit to belly filled laughter with an old friend who happens to be a Bhangra celebrity to tearing my hair out at operations at my studios, it has been another full week. I am noticing a new pattern in my life. Challenges come up. I handle them. Then when sometimes I am about to give up, an old picture of something or someone comes up, or I am reminded of an old memory, and so instead of feeling overwhelmed, a sense of peace comes over me.

As I stretch myself with the law office, Ziba, Crossfit, Writing. BNI, Artesia Chamber, it hits me that when I see all these are chores. I get a reminder in the form of nostalgia of how much fun it all can and has been. It is easy to construe all this work or really see it as a form of growth. Sure, it is not possible to do all of them well at the same time, however this is where structure, organization and passion come into play. I can either complain about or do something about it. So I communicate, renegotiate, or complete it. I keep moving, using Nostalgia as my fuel that one day I will look back, and reflect with pride, laughter or a lesson learned.

Happy Monday!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Pushing

I never quite know what I am going to write about until I allow myself to feel my thoughts and emotions in the morning quiet. The lessons from B.K Shivani are great reminders that when you start the day with positivity, it follows that positive things happen or one handles difficult situations with greater presence and calm.

Last Saturday, I had plenty of reason not to get up and head to the gym to do 18.1, the first of five workouts out for the Crossfit Open 2018. I was still recovering from the flu. I hadn’t gotten back into my training regimen of regular Crossfit workouts, and then there was the ever-present fear of failing in front of my peers at the Box. So many reasons NOT to workout or participate, but yet I knew it was fear in myself PRETENDING to be real reasons. It didn’t matter what my score would be, all that mattered was me SHOWING UP.

It was interesting to also hear on a new podcast (well for me anyway) that there are many of us who CHOOSE to do things as we are on a schedule yet there is NO ONE except OURSELVES pushing us to do it. There is not a day I don’t think about writing or working out. And more and more. the excuses become longer on why I CANT, WONT, OR SHOULDNT, yet time and time again I find myself at the box or in front of the laptop because if I don’t push myself then how will growth happen?

So I keep going out there, keep doing things that scrap the crap out of me, and keep just pushing. I hope you do the same.

Happy Monday!