Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal, Myself, Random

Integrity is Cheap

Monday mornings. A time I cherish. A time to reset, to consider, to take a hard look at my declarations. To drill down to what worked, what didn’t and what was in the gap. To review my various Google sheets and ask if I am in line with my vision. Some Mondays are not pretty. I see task after task and other idealistic declarations untouched week after week. And I realize that it’s easy to state things without a plan, or a real buy in. Easy to say I will become a published writer, or grow my business but then not have a deadline or a specific task to make it happen.

I find it’s easy to lie to myself. To make excuses, or justify that I am doing well in other areas. Easy to give myself a break, to let myself off the hook, to not be in integrity with myself or my vision.

Vision. That word keeps coming up in my life more and more. As I get closer to the big 5-0, I am motivated to complete some long standing dreams. To do a pull up. To run a Marathon. To be a published author. To be a successful law practice. To travel the world with my wife. To keep deep connections with family and friends. To be in service. To try new things. And yet, some things come easy, and others I just putting up over and over again.

So integrity to myself has become cheap. I cover it up with other actions, and stories that I am doing all that I can when I know there is so much time I waste on things and people who don’t serve me. I realize now that Integrity is a practice, and not a goal. It’s something I get to engage in daily and consistently, and there will be days I will not be honest to myself, and the best thing I can do is acknowledge it and then dig deeper on why that is. More times that not, it’s because of fear, or self-worth, or another failure. All fear-based emotions. And I get to work on that.

Integrity to myself requires constant work. And you know what? That’s okay. Because it’s about vision over circumstance. Being comfortable being uncomfortable. A choice: Give in, Give up or Push Forward.

Happy Monday

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Setting Vision and Goal Keeping

A few weeks back, a few of us began on an unintentional journey. It began with just the two of us in the form of mentoring them, and now has turned into a full accountability group with daily check ins, weekly goal accomplishments and month long plans. We even have a fancy google sheet template where we keep track of each other’s declarations, and ask for clarifications and deadlines. It’s amazing what can happen when you attract the right people into your life.  Going for coffee that one day snowballed into rekindling friendships and mental rigor that’s left me in awe.

More and more, I see that there are certain aspects I find easy to maintain, but there are still areas that I avoid or am incomplete in. It’s easier to avoid and just keep doing what I am good at, yet that also means I stop growing. Stop being uncomfortable. Stop expanding my curiosity. I see a certain restlessness creep into me as I push myself in fitness and health goals, but still lag on my writing regularly goal. I see now that my fear and uncertainty in my writing ability still persist, and the only way to overcome that is to put myself out there in ways that makes me deeply uncomfortable.

It was easy to announce to monthly goals in all areas of my life, yet I now see a pattern where the same declarations are made with no real progress. I get to dive in, assess and really ask myself if it’s a goal or a wish. Goals have deadlines and tasks, and wishes, well, they are just that.  Wishing to be healthier, for a more clients, for being published are just that unti. I really sit down and look at how to those to be tangible goals.

This is not to say I have not had success in other areas. From being in service, to fitness, I am on fire, but to just focus on the areas I am good is doing a disservice to myself and others. And so, this week I get to review my goals, and take at least one concrete step for the areas I am lagging in. It is the path to growth. The path to being the best version of myself.

Happy Monday

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Being in Service

It hit me that being in service does not always mean getting to volunteer at a non-profit or feeding the homeless. Sometimes, it is being available to your own loved ones. It means showing up regularly so they know to rely on you. To be their anchor, their person who they know will support them without judgment, pity or opinion. It means that being acknowledged, or hearing a thanks is not the end game. The ultimate reward is that they are okay. That they are loved, taken care of, that they are here, now.

I always thought that being in service meant doing things for strangers, but more and more, I see so much more opportunity to be there for ones who I see on a regular basis. It could mean just a call, a quick coffee, a check in to see how they are. Too often, it is easy to take the ones closest to us for granted. To wait for them to seek support or mention something rather than just reach out and touch base with them.

I realize now that when I open myself to being in service, it truly does not matter who it is that I am doing things for. Because being in service is not about ego, pride or acclaim. It is about showing up for others, noticing them. Really seeing them in their space and being ready to serve without question.

Happy Monday!

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Halfway Done

Photo by Walter Walraven on Unsplash

Each new month in 2019 surprises me as it feels this year feels faster than most. Yet as I write that, I know it not to be true. I realize what’s changed are the new and sudden things in my life that make the year to be slipping by. I began this year with the tacit agreement that I would focus on my law firm a 100%, and that has brought on not only challenges, but so many amazing opportunities. I am truly blessed with the mentors I have, the people I am continually amazed how many I actually know in the field of law (from immigration judges to bad ass attorneys in various areas of law), and new things I am learning (from immigration law to Google sheets).

Each day brings something different, and I am also proud to say that I still get to be in service through volunteering, BNI, doing some pro bono work, and learning new areas of the law so I can grow as a person. Then there is also my fitness and my new accountability group which has pushed me to set even higher goals. So June now appears to be January for me again except now I have 6 months to do even more than I planned at the beginning of the year, but you know what? It is okay. I accept the challenge, and encourage others to do the same.

I love learning new ideas, meeting new people, spending time with loved ones, finding ways to do good. My father and my aunt are my inspiration as is my family.  And so while 2019 is almost done half way, to me, it feels like a new beginning.

Happy Monday!

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

A Quiet Memorial

Photo by Justin Casey on Unsplash

In high school, college and most of law school, I treated Memorial Day weekend as a holiday that got me an extra day. I realize that speaking about sacrifice or appearing patriotic may appear strange from someone like me, but I have become blessed to meet many who have served, and and are currently serving, and it’s been made me wide awake how truly great my crossfit family is. Their quiet participation and acknowledgement of others has made my world a bit bigger for the better.

The word family, tribe are thrown around, yet until one shows up, really shows up for others when they have no reason to, it hits home that’s what the people serving abroad and domestically doing. To willingly accept an assignment that could lead to death and those who have died protecting this place I call home is humbling, awe inspiring, and frankly needs more than just a holiday.

So today, I thank all those who have served before, serve now, sacrificed their lives so we can exist, I can only say thank you, but also try to find new ways to be in gratitude for those who do so much for us, and perhaps I have taken for granted.

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

John Wick, Rocky, The Matrix

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

What is it about certain movies that I can watch over and over again? Specifically, the new trilogy John Wick, most of the Rocky’s (excluding 5 but including Creed 1&2) and The Matrix (just the first, the other two are hard to sit through). I could watch them while they are ending, or midway through, but the excitement of seeing it from the beginning baffles my wife. Especially Rocky IV which I probably have seen a few hundred times. The David and Goliath motif has always intrigued me, and more so when I’d like to think I would perhaps one day do the same against impossible odds.

The movies represent the what if’s in my life. A life where I not only stand up to the challenge, not over overcome it, but kick the shit out of it. Yet I also know that’s not exactly true as I know I have overcome a lot, but the movies represent a flashier way to get things done. The truth is, life and overcoming challenges is not always pretty or involve killing or punching someone, but pushing through your own demons, and self-pitying stories. It is taking the same step over and over towards the same vision. It is doing the boring things that you don’t want to do (like be on a treadmill for over and hour) or being  mentored by others. Giving up your ego. That resonates because in each of those movies, the hero gives up their pride. Goes to work. Learns the ropes. Then kicks ass. I do the same except no one want to see my life again and again.

But maybe just maybe, they might.