Brownness

On Giving Thanks

In the bright morning sun permeating my office, it’s easy to see clearly everything here, but internally I am even clearer. As the long weekend fades into memories, I can’t help feel grateful for how much I have, or how rich I am. It’s easy to get lost in the game of making money, paying bills, and looking to climb the next step in life, and not take the time to take in all my wealth.

One of the things I truly appreciate is that as much negativity surrounds us now, we will get a chance to celebrate the good days, the people in our lives, and appreciate what we have. I get it, maybe it ritualized, stale or cliche, but you know what giving thanks is something I’d keep as part of my life no matter how others feel. That’s not to say that I am looking down on others, just that gratitude works for me. It grounds me. Allows me to take stock and know where I really am in my station in life.

I can be quite hard on myself, but this past weekend, being able to be around so many loved ones, to see how much effort is put in to make others seen, loved, I began to relax and be present and take in the moments for what they were for. Was everything perfect? No, it was as it should. Were there missed connections? Chances to be better. Harsher words than intended. Of course. It’s what makes it a family. But what mattered most of all is everyone willingness and eagerness to be around each other.

And it hits me that as this month draws to a close, and I begin the last month of 2021, I was so much to look forward to, so much still to learn, and to be grateful for. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy Monday!

Brownness

On Learning

This past weekend was a mixture of learning new and familiar concepts in Family Law, and it hit me that I get jolt of adrenaline as I find new ways to help my clients. Instead of the darkness of not knowing on what to do, I suddenly found a torchlight that allows me to lead my clients to other other side and to closure. Let’s get it right, there is no winning or losing in Family Law. There is just the beginning, the middle and finally closure. That’s what I tell my clients because I am not interested in dragging things out just for the heck of it.

But back to learning. I also love my MasterClass, and my podcasts (most Joe Rogan). and then my New Yorker, Mens Health, and Scientific American, along with my barbell and crossfit coaches, I am surrounded my knowledge, tips, and paths to keep growing. And the learning continues with my wife, family and in laws. The kind of learning that teaches me to be a better version of myself, to be empathetic, to be present and open and on and on.

And then it hits me that life is learning and if and when I am stop then I should prepare for mediocrity or the end of my consciousness. The thought frightens me not because I am afraid of death, but because I want to live the best version of myself.

Happy Monday!

Brownness

The Weekend

In the quiet of my office, I can finally process the weekend. Rest and recovery out of the question as we celebrated a dear friend, got to experience our first Friends Giving, and finally had a chance to spend some quality time with our niece and another close friend of mine and his partner.

I never quite know how to answer when people ask me how my weekend was. For the past few months, there has no free days to just do nothing, or rest, or do anything not created by someone else. And the word that comes to mind is grateful, and blessed which turns into sentence of being surrounded by so many who care about us, bathing us with their time and attention.

There was a time I looked forward to different types of events and people, participated in what I thought to be lifelong activities like promotion, events, selling music, connecting with music industry folks and on a path to creating a record label. It all seems so foolish now, but then again I gained so much from doing all that. It is a foundational part of me allowing me a network of people and ideas helped me grow in unique ways.

And so in this morning quiet, I sit amazed at the changes in my life where health, family, mariage, friendship, and business fill up my days, and my soul. A different life than what I imagined, but do not wish to change in any way at all. Yes weekends are full, time feels shorter and shorter, so many people I need to connect with, but I wouldnt have it any other way.

Happy Birthday again Megha. Great seeing you Raj, and of course to am amazing start of the weekend with my BNI crew but most importantly having my wife by my side throughout all of it. I am a lucky man indeed.

Happy Monday!

Brownness

On Preparation

This past friday, I got a chance to realize that preparation requires me making no assumptions, means me practicing, means me not telling myself I am ready when I am unable to state things with confidence in a new setting to a stranger. It hit me that I was gave myself a pat on the back too soon, the little nervousness had appeared too late and did me a bit of damage, and so now I get to learn, be sure not to repeat the same mistakes.

The old me would just keep beating myself on mistakes or things not done, but now I am eager to take it all in, to learn, to grown, to know what to expect, to see myself with compassion instead of derision but also with clarity so I am not giving myself free passes. There is no point in doing difficult or new things if I don’t grow from them, don’t add things to my knowledge base, don’t repeat them, or get to know myself better in a similar situation.

I still tend to talk fast when nervous or unsure. I still try to rush through things, afraid of being challenged, or getting hamstrung when I am challenged. So I continue to push myself into uncomfortable things because that is the only way I see myself clearly instead of convincing myself that everything will work out. Because sometimes they don’t and I get to learn to be prepared to either fail or succeed, but at the end of the day, preparation matters. It always has, but how I define it has changed.

Happy Monday.

Brownness

August, September, October (by the Numbers)

This weekend it hit me that I had not paid attention to how I had been doing with my habits for the past few months. Well not exactly true, I’d been tracking them using the Clear Habit Journal, but had not posted publicly how I’d fared. August September, I did pretty well on my meditation and journaling, sporadic on not drinking on the weekdays and stretching, a lot better on my new habit of taking vitamins (Zinc, Fish Oil and Alpha Lipoic), and needed to improve my water intake. I realized that often the habits I did only 70% of the time were ones I either didnt want to do or didn’t remember to.

I didnt plan on Taco Tuesdays or get togethers with friends or just feeling like a drink after a hard day, so I get to check in with myself and see what the story is I make up about drinking on the weekdays because that’s what it is. I also know that when I do drink even when its only one or two, I am groggy the next day which makes me not want to wake up at 5am to workout.

October I added the habit of eating fruit daily and that has been a game changer in terms of making that the firs thing I eat to break my intermittent fast of 14 hours. I want to get up to 16 hours, but then again I noticed that when I do drink or don’t work out or stretch, I tend to snack and eat not so well on the weekends. So there is work to be done.

I only have 2 and half months left till I hit 50, and I do want to be the best version of myself. Maybe I am fooling myself, but its okay as long I continue to hit my goals I am good with my effort.

New month, new me. Happy Monday