September 2014 – Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog

Another Monday, the memory of the Jassi Sidhu party and the Spartan run already fading away as well as my cold and the aches and pains that came with it. It’s funny when you are in the thick of things, it all seems to important, so urgent, but when it’s done, it’s just another task. I am proud of myself for once not getting myself overly anxious about the party or the run. Perhaps it comes with experience or my daily meditation. But really it comes from the realization all this will pass. That nothing is ever really an emergency. There is absolutely no reason to ponder things that you cannot control. It can be tough not to wonder, I admit. Yet, more than that it just is accepting that what’s happens is gonna happen no matter how much you stress about it.

I rediscovered reading again. In the past 2 weeks, I have managed to read 3 books already (Think Like A Freak. The Son by Jo Nesbo, The Book Thief), and now starting The Sleep Doctor by Stephen King. I forgot how much I love reading a few pages, and then putting the book down and truly just enjoying the satisfactions one gets from the imagery presented the authors. It is probably one of the few times that I know I am truly enjoying myself. I am already looking forward to getting a new stack of books. Although I have a Kindle and the first generation Ipad, nothing is quite like holding a book in your hand or putting that CD in.

Yep, I am officially old school. I still buy CDS. I am still buy hard cover books. I still make my own playlists, and download (mostly) legally. I still promote events to people I actually know rather than just bombarding it on social media. It’s funny but what once was cutting edge is now just quaint. A very big eye opener.

Two days before Jassi Sidhu. Three days before my Spartan race. Been training for months, and of course I wake up on Monday with a tickle in my throat. First reaction, “oh shit, what about the party and the race?” but then took a deep breath, and realized how wonderful the past weekend had been, the smile on my beautiful wife, and the happiness I felt as we watched our Reception video. In that moment, nothing mattered. I felt full. All was well. It struck me that I used to hate running with a passion, and would have constant anxiety as I did an event, but now I get antsy if I don’t run regularly, and I am just looking forward to the event.

It’s because I looked at the reason why I signed up for these things. The point was to have fun. I am in a position in life where I can dabble in things, and while the younger me took things way too seriously, I now know what’s more important. Do I lose sight of that sometimes? Yes. Actually, more often than I care to admit. It’s too easy to focus on the past and the future. In fact, I think most of are so focused on that, we don’t see the present. I mean for a second, I thought about it. So what I have a cold or the flu? I miss the race. Big deal. What if the party is a flop? Well, lets see my friend Jassi is coming and so are my other good friends Sandeep Kumar and Dhol Nation, and my best friend my wife, and you know what, I will just have to dance my butt off. Not a shabby way to spend a Friday night.

We all have a choice each moment. Accept it or fight it. You just gotta know which battles to pick. Enjoying what I have now.