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Begin forwarded message:

From: “Suman Patel” <>
Date: August 24, 2009 5:14:18 PM PDT
To: “Executive Team” <>, “Ziba Managers” <>, “Nubia Stephens” <>, “Shadden Fouz” <>, “Megha Malik” <>, “Gabriel Slater” <>, “Gurjit Suri” <>, “Reema Saberwal” <>, “Angelica Lima” <>, “Michele Armstrong” <>, “Executive Board” <>
Subject: AVEDA 50% OFF

Hello all, one day gone.. Two more days left. August 25th tuesday and 
August 26th wednesday..
Business leaders, I would highly recommend you let your staff know 
about this fantastic clearance sale. $12.00 items going for only 
Hope to see you.
11am to 3pm at Ziba warehouse.

P.S.  Cash transactions only!!
Suman Patel
Chief Education Advisor
12 locations to serve you
51 stores by 2012

Posted via email from zibasanjay’s posterous



I never thought my life would be as settled and unsettled as it is right at this moment.  While I have always used to having contradictions in my life, they were usually times that I could easily predict. 

Yes the only thing predicable thing now is the feeling that I dont know what the hell I am doing or what the hell is going on.  But then I pause (as usual) and I realize the frustration isnt just about myself or my life, its the interactions I continue with people who really arent all that bright.  In the process of slowing down for them, I have dumbed myself down and thats quite disappointing to me.

I am not satisfied with the life I have sometimes because its not at a standard that can fulfil or that can motivate me to move along in this world.  When I look back, I realize that in my eagerness to please the ones close to me in my life or even perfect strangers, I have lost a little bit of who I am due to plain carelessness.  I didnt care for myself, and instead of indulged others. 

Maybe nothing will change more than my immediate sense of the world or even my habits.  Yet, I wonder if I have given up on who I really am?



Its best to see yourself as others do, but the danger in that is that you can become less of who you are really are.  Thats been my challenge for a while.  I try so hard to indulge others and be who they think I should be, that I lost sight of who I really am. 

If that first sentence confused you then welcome to my life.  I am not blaming anyone nor am I trying to explain away my flaws.  It’s just that lately, I have given up more than my normal self, and I am beginning to feel a little empty.  Time was, I gave and, in return I received something, but nowadays I just strip my soul a bit at a time in return for a moments peace.  And not even a quiet peace but one fraught with anxiety and sinking feeling that another rough moment is around the corner.

Where did I go wrong? I often wonder, and it comes to me that its the little things I gave up or didnt challenge that now seem like overwhelming barriers to overcome.  So its my fault, really.  But somehow that answer doesnt relieve any pressure or give me any clarity.  Instead, I am looking across a chasm of my former self, and I am filled with regret. 

And I have no one to blame but myself.  Each new day I begin wondering about others is one less day I dont think about myself.  And in many ways, that saddens me tremendously.  Will the real Sanjay please stand up?