Holidays and Judgment

As the last week of 2021 begins, I cannot help but feel full of blessings and gratitude and eagerness to see what 2022 has to offer. There have been scares such as Covid, but I no longer allow it to control the narrative of my life. I tune out as much as possible, and focus on the things that I can control, from my health to connection with others. I can only work on my thoughts and actions.

And this morning, I realized I carry a lot of judgment about others still which do not serve me or them. It will be a long road, but I know I need to commit to letting go of this bad habit. It’s draining, its petty, and it makes me less of a person. Now I cannot guarantee I will succeed, but the first step is seeing it in myself. It takes away from the holiday spirit, and adds a sourness to my life when there has so much sweetness.

It is a good thing to take into the new year, new goals, new ways of being,new things to do that make me uncomfortable. Even as in I close in on 50, I see now that I have a ways to go to be and do better. It gives me comfort that I am still able to be critical of myself without going into despair. It just means I have more tools to use, and more work to do.

The first step is in seeing it, and then the next is to seek support from others in making it happen. It means having difficult conversations after I get clarity on what it is that I am judging. It makes me squirm to see my own pettiness, but it also means I get to exercise empathy and compassion.


Barrelling Towards 2022

It amazes me that the 2021 ends in 10 days. It feels like a whirlwind or maybe I just say as I get closer to major milestones in my life (50 here I come), or it could be that I set on a new path without the family business as a safety net, I learned, grew, made mistakes, grew some more, and learned many ways not to do something, and then next thing I know 2021 is almost over.

And yet even with all this change, I look forward to what there is to come. I don’t want the same year again, but neither do I want a tumultuous year. I do know that things take time especially when planting seeds in new areas. I also have no idea what will come out of my efforts, but the main thing I am sure of is that my support system stays strong, my loved ones blanket me with their well wishes, and advice, my wife holds my hand even I am unsure of the next step, my mom and sisters are there to give advice (and plenty of it), my friends are here to listen to me, or talk to me, or teach me.

And so as I barrel towards 2022, I don’t feel out of control. Instead, I feel I am picking up speed as the way becomes more familiar. I look forward to the ride!


Holiday Parties

My heart is full. So much so that I cannot see the world as anything but one of giving, love, and appreciation. This past thursday, I held my very first holiday party for Sabarwal Law, and I was simply amazed as the diversity of people who came. From old clients, colleagues, dear friends, family and vendors, I was blown away at how many made the effort. But what made it the best event was the amount of time my wife and sister spent to make my simple idea into an grand event. I am in awe of how much support I have from my wife and loved ones. I truly felt blessed.

That was just the beginning to the weekend as we went out to other events, connected with crossfit friends, family friends, dear friends, old friends, and as tired as we were Sunday event, we still managed to spend intimate time with loved ones, and wake up on Monday with a fullness of life and looking forward to what it has to offer. It is these times that matter that carry me through the difficult ones, the times when I think I am alone when really my people are just steps away from me. I just have to remove my blinders and see that so many care for like like I do for them.

This past weekend proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I can’t wait to see what’s next!

Happy Monday!


Letting Go

It is never a great feeling when expectations and hopefulness override reality. You get set up for failure when you need something from someone incapable of meeting that desire. I realize that I let wishful thinking take over. I also failed to set boundaries and then act surprised when the other person crosses them.

I don’t mean to be vague, but it is a pattern in my life. Far too often, I allow people in my life take importance in a way and time that could be better spent with the ones who want my support and love. I am far too quick to allow some people leeway that hasn’t been earned but gotten through other relationships. We lack an emotional foundation. We borrow love and caring from other relationships and assume that is enough.

It’s become clear that when I take shortcuts in relationship building, I am setting myself up to get short circuited. When there is a lack of understanding in each others values, there is a greater chance of feeling devalued. To feel like I am giving far too much, and creating an imbalance because the other person is either incapable or unwilling to reciprocate.

And so I go back to gratitude for the ones in my life who match or outdo me in their willingness to be in service, love, support and empathy for each other. And take a pause from the ones who just don’t and so I let go.