This past weekend, we did one of our first nights out as adults without Zyan. Yet even prior to that, it’d become obvious that we needed to make adjustments as a couple. As someone extremely task oriented and driven to accountability, I tend to get married to my schedule, and not be as open to sudden changes. While being so focused supports in my work, it has become a hindrance as we navigate our lives with our 5 month old. I get to learn to check in, to be open to changes in my scheduling to offering support, to taking off the afternoon to take over as Zyan fights daytime naps, and insists of constant attention. That can drain a person when even the naps are short lived.

Slowly ( I mean very slowly), I now see that in order to be a good partner and as someone who works remotely. I have plenty of chances to step, to play Papa, to allow my wife some breathing room. I get to use my strength in focus and tasks to incorporate parenthood into my daily schedule. I can no longer always just be the morning and evening weekday papa. This requires communication, calendaring, and commitment. It means putting aside assumptions, sharing what matters most on certain days because my work and health tasks cannot always be a priority when they are not discussed with my wife.

When I assume, I make an ass out of you and me. It is a lesson I keep running into, and I am determined to use accountability the engine to push me forward (ergo this post.). Also, this weekend allowed us time to seek support from family to take care of Zyan (which they did happily) while we took off the night to spend time with friends and actually sleep in. Even while we were out, missing Zyan was the norm, but it underscored that we get to keep adulting if we are to the best versions of ourselves to each other and to our son.

It is a sobering lesson, and one that I aim to do better at.

Happy Monday!



The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, and today we get ready to celebrate Baisakhi even while still recovering from Easter. Zyan got to do his first event with many new people, and to say he was a trooper is understating it. Initially, we were concerned he would not like being around so many people, but his bright shining face really made him the center of attention, and while in the initial moment he was a bit overwhelmed, it took him mere minutes adjust. Mama and Papa could not be prouder.

One of our continuing joys for our son is how easy going he is, and clear on when he is not happy. As he comes into his own, and wants less and less nap time, he demands more of our attention, and we love having to give it! A true win/win where even when we dont see him for a few hours, we miss him like it has been days. Gushing like this was something I never imagined. Now I know the feeing of parents doing anything for their child, to ensure they are safe, protected, taught, taken care of, loved, read to, changed, worried about, and on and one.

Yet he continues to troop on, delighting us each day with something new. Greeting us each morning with massive smiles that just clobber our hearts, making our souls shine. Our time has new meaning in away I still am trying to process. I still am task oriented, but now one of happiest tasks is quality time with my trooper. My heart is so full, and it just meant I had to spill it out here.

Happy Friday and happy Baisakhi to all who celebrate.