Month: March 2015

Brownness

Happy Monday!

Sanjay Sabarwal

coffee-monday-take-over-worldMy eyes opened today to new possibilities,  new chances, a new day. Outside, muffled chirps begin the soundtrack of the day. I look outside to see gloom settled across the day, but something shifts. No longer does that gloom convey sadness or yet another Monday. It represents that each dark day does get lighter, it does shine. I cannot stop smiling over the powerful weekend that I had where I managed to get so much done for my life. It was not just another Saturday and Sunday lost into “what will I do now” or “how I can spend the time doing nothing.”  It was a weekend of possibility, one that i took on.

I don’t meant to speak in riddles. I cannot stop smiling. Over the weekend, I reconnected with some beautiful souls, got great inspiration and got some quality time with friends, and family and found myself doing things that I have never done before. I got out of my comfort zone while also deepening the relationships that matter to me. At this moment, I know I did it all, and I am truly grateful for the chance I received.  So yes its Monday and while the old me dreaded this day, the new me loves it. A new week, a new chance to do something other than just pass the hours. Too often, we get lost in our thoughts not seeing the beautiful present that today brings.

So today I celebrate you Monday.  You are unique, never to come around after today. So today I will honor you by working on my vision rather than wasting it away.  Happy Monday!

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Myself

Life and Death

Sanjay Sabarwal

life-and-deathOn Friday the 13th, I attended a funeral and a birthday. It was surreal to say the least. While we mourned a father’s friend, I couldn’t help be glad I got to see him in his final moments. I put aside the busyness of the world, and was just there, allowing my wife and to be one of the last ones to see him besides his family. It struck me that nothing else matters when death is around the corner. I know he was surrounded by loved ones, and I hoped our presence conveyed our love for that family. It didn’t feel enough, but it was more than nothing. At the end, that’s all that matters.

That night, I attended my nieces 20th birthday, who also asked me to be her manager, and it hit me that I held her in my arms when she was born. I only wanted the best for her, and the love I felt for her so strong and potent that it caused me to choke up. Suddenly, this became a summary of what I wanted my life to be. To be reminded that there was more to the day-to-day. more to things we wish we had or the fights we get into. There’s more to me. More to just getting past the days, the hurt. the meaningless tasks and goals we fill up our time with. More to all of us. There’s life and death. Because once that occurs, we have a choice. We either move forward, stay still or leave with regret.

What are you going to choose?

MITT, Myself, Preeti

Not Just Another Weekend

Sanjay Sabarwal

IMG_1224A gloom sits outside my bay window. A gray sky blankets the waking day. Hear and there,  I hear muffled chirps of birds as if telling the day to wake up. It is an amazing Monday! The kind where nothing can hold the shine inside me as I reflect upon the weekend. It began on Friday when my beautiful niece performed at her first official gig. As I sat there enthralled to her beautiful voice, I couldn’t help get teary eyed as I remembered holding her in my hands, playing with her endlessly, teaching her to say “Boys are Bad.”  The little girl whose hugs and kisses always melted me is now a woman, and I could not feel prouder. With each number, she grew up in front of me (I even tried to ignore that most of her songs were about heartbreak), and it hit me that not only did I just witness an extraordinary friday, I got to see my niece as an adult.

A sunny Saturday. The kind where the sun peeks in through the windows inviting you to wake up. 7am. Part of me wanted to lay back, but then again it was that voice that always told me to keep sleeping, to do it another time, to just sleep in since it ‘s Saturday. And then suddenly the sleep disappeared. Another voice. Get. Up. Now. Oh. What. The. Fuck. Go. For. It. Anyway. And so I did. I went running, and the other voice got tinier and tinier. Then the best part of Saturday came. Brunch with my beautiful wife at Old Vine in Irvine. I wish I told her how beautiful she looked. Her bright eyes glowed in the sun. I marveled at the fact that she woke up looking great. I wished I told her my running stream of thoughts. But still it was a great saturday.

Then came Sunday. I finished the first draft of a personal essay (new records for finishing 5000 words). I ended up working for a bit at Topanga, but it also gave me an opportunity to connect with a great friend. Lately, I see opportunities where before life looked like obstacles. I ended my weekend with Load Out for MITT where  I got to experience other’s energy and help as I knew how. So today’s gray morning gets to see my shine. Today, I get to be me. Today, I look for more opportunities. Happy Monday!

Family, Inpsiration, Journal, MITT, Writing

Awake to Write

Sanjay Sabarwal

Darkness veils the upcoming day outside. Yet I hear it waking up. The deep quietness of the night passed a while ago.I know because I woke up before to hear nothing but deep silence.  I don’t need to look at my clock to know it’s before 6am. Muffled bird chirps reach my ears.  I groggily ask myself for the 1000th time, do I really want to wake up?  I already know the answer, hell yea.  The voice recedes, and I sit up. The dog instantly at alert, it’s walking time! I wish I could tell her that she has to wait, that I have first I have to invest in myself. So in goes the protein shake, and I head to the library. I can no longer say I don’t have time to write. I now have two hours that I are devoted to creating words, and they don’t just stop there. I also turned off my inner editor. For now, I write till I can write no more and instead of sitting there with my fingers poised over my keyboard either deleting what I wrote earlier or bemoaning that I am out of ideas, I keep open several times. A story, an essay and now a blog post.  I heard that from a Timothy Ferris podcast in which one of the participants suggested there is no such thing as writers block, just that for now you had run out to say something for the current piece. So you keep moving.

Oh yeah, and a timer. Because no matter what I need a reminder that this is my time to write. And I can choose to waste it or make something out it because once the bell rings it’s dog walking time. This routine just started, and already it feels like this is something I should have done ages ago. The reality is, there is time to do everything you desire. The question will always be how early do you want to get up to fit it in. I can either be complacent and complaining about the lack of time, or I can suck it up, wake up and get to it. Either way, it’s the life I create for myself. For me, that means being a writer, one who writes daily.

What will you do to make your dream come true?