I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. This is my annual "Guilt Trip." I got tickets to fly there on "WISH-I-HAD" airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my "baggage," which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was loaded down with a thousand memories of "what might have been." No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town. As I checked into the "Last Resort" Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year’s most important event — the annual "Pity Party." I wasn’t going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there. First, there would be the "Done" family; you know, "Should Have," "Would Have" and "Could Have." Then came the "I Had" family. You probably know old "Wish" and his clan. Of course, the "Opportunities" family; "Missed and Lost," would be present. The biggest family there would be the "Yesterday’s." There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Of course, "Shattered Dreams" would surely make and appearance. "It’s Their Fault" family would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in their life. Each story would be loudly applauded by the "Don’t Blame Me" and "I Couldn’t Help It" committee. To make a long story short, I went to this depressing party, knowing full well there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that this trip and subsequent "pity parties" COULD be cancelled by ME! I started to realize that I did not have to be there. And I didn’t have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN’T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as being encouraging. Knowing this, I left Regret City immediately, and didn’t leave a forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I’ve made in the past? YES! But there is no way to undo them. So, if you’re planning a trip back to Regret City, please cancel all those reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a nice place called: "Starting Again." I like it so much that I made it my permanent residence. My neighbors, the "Been Forgiven" and the "We’re Saved" are so very helpful. By the way, you don’t have to carry around the heavy baggage anymore either. That load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. But don’t take my word for it, find out for yourself. – Author Unknown
Today, I hit 204 pounds, only 14 pounds away from my idea goal. I am also on Lesson 4 of Pimsleur’s guide to Spanish. almost halfway through beginning conversational Spanish. Today was also the last day for my online UCLA class of Bringing Characters to Life. To top of all this, we have finally begun discussion on wedding dates. I should feel satisfied but I am not as it hit me that a lot of what I am doing is being done alone. I have failed to share my passions and victories with the ones I love but worst of all, it does not appear that it matters to them. I am lonely but motivated. Sad but looking forward to life ahead. Angry because I am suffocating with frustrations and old hurts
I know I probably exaggerating but I can’t seem to let go of that feeling, and thus I am still blowing up over absolutely trivial things. I also know that there are some I should avoid, some I should handle gingerly, some with love but most of all some with caution as whatever comes out of my mind, seems to end up on their plate. I have no privacy or at least it feels like it but more than anything else I just cannot believe how I have treated some who are dear to me especially her. I owe her more than an apology, I owe her my life.
- Spanish on the iPhone (brighthub.com)
- Immersive Spanish for iPad takes learning to a new level of success (themactrack.com)
- Learning Tools – The Good (and Bad) about Pimsleur (jacobtullos.wordpress.com)
—— Forwarded Message
From: Ziba Beauty <email@example.com>
Date: Tue, 22 Mar 2011 17:54:03 +0000 (UTC)
To: Sanjay Sabarwal <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Ziba Beauty is now an open group LinkedIn Groups
Group: Ziba Beauty
I am pleased to announce that, as the owner of this group, I have just switched us to an open discussion group. All future discussions will be fully visible, searchable, and shareable on the Web. All past discussions are now closed in a members-only archive. I look forward to our future discussions now joining the broader conversation of the wider Web.
Posted By Sanjay Sabarwal
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Good job 🙂 Sent from my iPhoneBegin forwarded message:From: “Groupon” <email@example.com>
Date: March 20, 2011 5:42:53 AM PDT
Subject: Half Off at Ziba Beauty
Reply-To: “Groupon” <reply-fe5515707d620d797c11-125679_HTMLfirstname.lastname@example.org>
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$11 Value $22 Discount 50% You Save $11
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So admit, lately I have fallen into the trap of judging people almost instantly and what’s worse they are people who were once close to me or near me physically. I realize now that a struggle it is to remember to just breathe and start the day blank instead of being pummeled by a 100 thoughts of what I need to get done. As I read and write more, get more enjoyment from the simple moments of life, I see now that I have to make an effort to stay present, connected with what I am feeling but not be overwhelmed by it. It’s a struggle not to speak in frustration and anger. While the need to be firm is important, I easily dive into anger a bit too quickly.
Moreover, the worst is the recent gossiping I have begun to do, putting down people for minor (at least in the long run) and trivial things that did not matter to me before. Part of the problem of being in a close group that shares information is that the littlest things get transmitted instantly and the reaction even quicker. I see now that I am contributing as much to the problem as others, and the only I can hold responsible is myself.
Yet I ask what it is that is making me behave this way? What makes me put down some people trivial things, and others that I no longer begrudge the benefit of the doubt. I just assume that lowest common denominator about them, yet it is I who is lacking in basic civility. Now it would be easy to confront some or speak my mind to others, yet the real problem is myself. I do not know how to speak bluntly but without emotion. I somehow manage to sound irritated, petty, annoyed, all at the same time. The eloquence I think I have seems to abandon me at the crucial moments, and I see what I need to work on.
Recently, I have begun to get agitated at some for not following through for something that seems quite obvious to me in order to better their lives. But I know it’s not up to me how people choose to live their lives or make their decisions. I must remember that we each live our own moments, through our own ideals, right or wrong. All I can really do is to stop gossiping about it. I cringe as I see that word in print.