Preeti – Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog

My 44th

January 28, 2016 Sanjay Sabarwal

There is nothing like a birthday to remind me that I am no longer the young and idealistic person from high school who believed he could change the world. Instead, there is now someone who can at least change his environment. There is also nothing like that day where so many people go out of their way to express their feelings about you and truly make one feel truly special. It felt amazing to be thought of and wished by so many. It took me aback, and I struggled with the attention to be honest. It is humbling and inspiring to hear from so many, and have so many come personally to express wishes. I do not take it lightly, and it confirms for me once again that we all respond to positivity, passion and accountability.

The strange part is that I don’t feel any older, just more experienced and my heart grows bigger with the amount of love being poured into it. I admit there is a bit of nostalgia for days at UCLA, Kentucky, and the ideal that the world is for the taking, but if I was truly honest, I am filled at the brim with happiness. I keep setting bigger goals, and expecting more from myself because what good is a life not lived? I’ve made thousands of mistakes, and as much as I regret some of them, they each had something to teach me.

I truly wish I could thank each person and tell them that their words were not mere greetings, but an energy source. Their gifts not just material, but a reflection of their time and feelings for me. It inspires me, and encourages me to be better, do more and use their love to push me into uncomfortable areas.

44 is not just a number, it’s a testament as to lucky I am to make it to this point. And for that, I am forever grateful.

Preeti

My Goals for 2016

January 5, 2016 Sanjay Sabarwal

So with the new year here, I have a lot of things I wish to accomplish and what better way to be held accountable than to post them publicly?

Personal/Family:

a) Travel with wife to new places and also try new things in SoCal

b) Organize library/garage/rooms by decluttering

c) Connect with loved ones. Call not just text!

d) Read or listen to atleast 25 books

e) Learn Spanish

Health:

a) Get down to 190-200lbs by June 2016

b) Do Pull ups/Double Unders/Touch My Toes!

c) Deadlift 400 lbs

d) Run marathon

Work Areas:

a) Legal: Sign up new clients and generate $25,000 in revenue

b) Writing: Submit 4 personal essays, 1 short story and complete novel by end of the year. Generate $10,000 in revenue

c) Ziba Beauty: Remain a committed in-house counsel and co-owner

Community: Volunteer/donate a minimum of once a month

Financial: Be Debt Free and save 20% of my income.

Spiritual

a) Meditate daily

b) Memorize Japji Sahib

Leisure

a) Monthly hikes

b) Date nights with the wife

c) Act like a kid

Family, Food For Thought, Myself, Preeti

Reflections on 2015: Love More, Live More & Give More

December 31, 2015 Sanjay Sabarwal

So the last two days have been eventful in my life. Actually, if I was honest, I would say this past month and the whole year has been. But yesterday, I spent most of the day at the ER for a headache that wouldn’t go away. Last time, that happened, I had a subdural hematoma (a bleed in the brain) so it’s frightening. Luckily, it turned out to be migraine caused by heavy congestion. Then, this morning around 5am, someone tried to break into our garage. Our brave seven pound Maltipoo alerted us with her bark, and we called the police who confirmed that someone had kicked the door in. They didn’t get anything, although they were welcome to the 2 broken bikes, poker table, and 4 tires that were in there. I almost wished it was a homeless person that we could have given money to spend the night someone since it was so cold out.

The lessons I took from these events is that 2016 is the year I work on improving the foundation of my home to taking my health to the next level. I have had too many scares to not take it seriously. Yet, I also got a chance to reflect on how many amazing things happened this year. I learned that I focus too much on what I didn’t get done, and while that works on motivation, it devalues me in a way. So while it may sound like bragging, it’s more of a testament of just acknowledging myself that I am on the right path,

This year, I completed a Spartan Trifecta, wrote a novel, and 4 other personal essays, completed a leadership program, did lots of community service, started practicing law, deadlifted 305 pounds, worked out regularly, raised and donated money, became a Artesia chamber member, connected with loved ones, acknowledged my failures in trust with key people, and learned much more than I thought possible.

Now 2016 comes, and I now know that I need to travel more, do more fun stuff with Preeti, and of course learn more. So the last two days are a reminder of what more I get to work on, and as part of what I learned from Four Agreements is to accept it all and not take it personal.

So Happy New Year to all my loved ones. I hope you take a chance to reflect on your year as I did. It is a great way to build a foundation for the future!

Food For Thought, Myself, Preeti

Life Partnership

August 17, 2015 Sanjay Sabarwal

The warm buzz of a complete weekend still resides inside me. Being witness to a couple taking the next step of commitment not only reminded me of how love progresses, but of how as humans we look for connection and a partnership.

What good are achievements if you don’t have someone to share them with? We all need a cheerleader in our lives. Someone who believes in us more than we believe in ourselves sometimes. I admit it’s not easy to make the transition from a lone wolf to sharing all your moments with another. When my natural self is to always just count on myself, it’s a huge leap of faith to surrender myself to another completely.

Yet that is how a fulfilling life occurs. When you know someone has your back. Pure and simple. That emptiness in you dissipates when you know that no matter what, someone is there to listen to you. Quoting my niece’s recent song “You matter,” that’s what marriage means to be. Someone saying to me I matter.

I am sure there will be some eye rolls at my post. After all, it can also sound like you need to be seen to matter. Or that you need to be praised. No actually, you don’t. I just think that just like it takes two to create a human being, it takes another to see for who you are. It doesn’t matter as to gender, race or sexuality. Just that there is someone out there that you have a life connection.

P.S: Congrats Sabina and Ricky Sood. Looking forward to the wedding 🙂

MITT, Myself, Preeti

Not Just Another Weekend

March 9, 2015February 22, 2017 Sanjay Sabarwal

A gloom sits outside my bay window. A gray sky blankets the waking day. Hear and there, I hear muffled chirps of birds as if telling the day to wake up. It is an amazing Monday! The kind where nothing can hold the shine inside me as I reflect upon the weekend. It began on Friday when my beautiful niece performed at her first official gig. As I sat there enthralled to her beautiful voice, I couldn’t help get teary eyed as I remembered holding her in my hands, playing with her endlessly, teaching her to say “Boys are Bad.” The little girl whose hugs and kisses always melted me is now a woman, and I could not feel prouder. With each number, she grew up in front of me (I even tried to ignore that most of her songs were about heartbreak), and it hit me that not only did I just witness an extraordinary friday, I got to see my niece as an adult.

A sunny Saturday. The kind where the sun peeks in through the windows inviting you to wake up. 7am. Part of me wanted to lay back, but then again it was that voice that always told me to keep sleeping, to do it another time, to just sleep in since it ‘s Saturday. And then suddenly the sleep disappeared. Another voice. Get. Up. Now. Oh. What. The. Fuck. Go. For. It. Anyway. And so I did. I went running, and the other voice got tinier and tinier. Then the best part of Saturday came. Brunch with my beautiful wife at Old Vine in Irvine. I wish I told her how beautiful she looked. Her bright eyes glowed in the sun. I marveled at the fact that she woke up looking great. I wished I told her my running stream of thoughts. But still it was a great saturday.

Then came Sunday. I finished the first draft of a personal essay (new records for finishing 5000 words). I ended up working for a bit at Topanga, but it also gave me an opportunity to connect with a great friend. Lately, I see opportunities where before life looked like obstacles. I ended my weekend with Load Out for MITT where I got to experience other’s energy and help as I knew how. So today’s gray morning gets to see my shine. Today, I get to be me. Today, I look for more opportunities. Happy Monday!

Myself, Preeti, Writing

Lost Time

January 26, 2015 Sanjay Sabarwal

Woke up at 730 am even though I woke up every few hours with the anxiety of an early interview as well as thoughts of what my life had become. Tossed and turned, each time closing my eyes then reaching for the phone only to discover only fifteen minutes had passed. Torture. I really wanted to get up and write first thing in the morning, but then the dog crawled up on to me. Bella knew I had a long day so didn’t want me to make her walk the first sacrifice of the day. So off we went, me doing my prayers and her sniffing and pausing every so few seconds to straddle over dried dog shit ever so carefully so she could make it shitty all over again. And then I had to meditate because that was a carefully crafted morning ritual then flossed (so far doing well on the New Years Resolution), then getting ready. A quick kiss to my wife and off I went. A sudden craving for Starbucks and after all that I barely manage to get to work at 9:01am. And then as I sit here, it hit me. I didn’t do the one thing that I think about every single day which is work on my writing.

My Nanowrimo novel patiently waits in my library. The 50,001 words know or hope that I will get to them. So far I am on page 9 of 25o. The revision is going excruciating slow. Then I also remember committing to a family friend that I would submit a short story that I revised by end of the month because that’s the one step I have never taken. So the lost time keeps building up. I lose time constantly, and it’s filled with regrets of things I should have said or done. A very important relationship in my life hangs precariously closing to shutting down because we cannot seem to find the time to figure things out. And so the time passes, and with each moment I feel a little less sure of myself, a little more lost, and then finally filled with regret.

I hope I do better tomorrow.