Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

March 17

Drawing by Gurjit Suri

Yesterday, we celebrated Papa’s birthday which felt surreal, but in a way, it ended up being a joyful day where we swapped stories about him, and his name came up often. For once, social media made me feel connected as I got to see how others expressed their affection for him.

Papa made so many feel special, and he had an energy about him that was contagious. It made perfect sense that we got to go to an Iranian restaurant to have his favorite food while my only regret became I didn’t eat his favorite, Lamb Shank well because I am vegetarian, but, then again, Papa never was for formality. The result became what he loved most: family time while eating delicious food.

I hate to admit how it can feel overwhelming to share what came up for me when I think about Papa. Not much time goes by when I am reminded about him, and the little habits of his that I am now adopting. It feels bothersome to be a downer or one who speaks about someone in the past, yet when that someone still manages to teach you things while they are gone, then who am I to not honor them.

Papa and I had our special time at Ziba Music, but there also so much time squandered away due to my stubbornness and ego. I can only express gratitude that I realized how much he influenced me, and the great times we did have. Sure, being greedy to have more now just brings ache to my heart.

But then again, his special day now has become mine, and I look forward to more birthdays where we can celebrate him.

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Celebrations

Photo by Sammie Vasquez on Unsplash

It can be overwhelming to host celebrations, but when we remind ourselves to be kind, patient, calm, and loving, we can check in with the real reason to take on celebrations. We want our loved ones to feel special, to know they matter, and that they are thought about and loved. This weekend, we got  a chance to show my brother-in-law how much his presence in our lives is appreciated.

I will admit that the fact that he shares his birthday with my first mentor Tejpal made for a nostalgia tinged day for me. And then my mom shared the last picture Papa tried to send the kids while in Switzerland. For a moment, grief and nostalgia choked me, but then I remembered what a special day it truly had become.

My brother-in-law is not only kind and thoughtful, he would be mortified to see a post like this because he’d rather act than say things.  It makes perfect sense that he would share his birthday with someone who inspired me to keep writing.

When I think about it, there are more coincidences in life than I ever considered, and it appears that what we think are random acts of life that collide randomly, perhaps, just perhaps are the universe’s way of making sure we know that everything is connected.

So today, I celebrate  Micky, and Tejpal and think about Papa fondly, and chose gratitude for the life I get to live.

Happy 40th Micky, I wish you an amazing year!

Family, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Travelling Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Travel with others most always is fun and and a challenge. It hit me that so much of my time in the past got wasted for wanting to move things along and if everyone would just listen and then we would get to the next thing. And then I take a pause, become present in the moment, and take in the fact that right now only this moment matters.

I realize that all of us are unique and have our own wants and needs, but that means taking responsibility for myself, keep myself in check. Wanting things to be a certain way just invites grief and impatience and really just waste times that could be better spent being in gratitude for being able to travel with others.

But, and this is a big but. It’s easy to say to shift perspective, but when habits are there, they are hard to break. It takes time to walk expectations and desires back and just enjoy the vacation instead of wanting others to behave a certain way.  It’s a tough lesson that I struggle with, and I admit some days I fail at it. But then in those glorious moment when I succeed like when I take a walk on a beautiful trail, in the bright, sunny, chilly day. Listening to a customized playlist by a dear friend, I got a chance to reconnect and reset.

I don’t always get it right, but I am learning, and at the end of the day that’s all that matters.