Brownness

Mom

What can I say about a person who supports me unconditionally in all of my hare brained schemes from going to a 2 year law school to becoming a party promoter to having my own music store and then back to being a lawyer for the family business and finally to a thriving private practice. Throughout my journey, allI I ever received was acceptance, motivation and the realization that no matter what I was not a failure in her eyes.

It’s hard to to put to words about a person so deeply ingrained in our lives. As much as I want to express how much she means to our family, words fail me. She is home. A place to put all my fears, insecurities, ideas, and actions, and know that she will accept us. Yet that still doesnt give you an idea as to what an amazing soul she is.

Yes all moms are special, but for us she has been more than that, from business partner to mentor to teaching me how to make food when I was going away from the first time to watching her interact with her granddaughter, it truly makes me grateful for being so lucky.

Lately, she has suffered a lot of loss, but her strength in handling that is an inspiration. It shows me the path of how to keep moving forward, to keep the faith, to keep doing the right thing, to be there for others, and to show strength by action not words.

So with these humbles words,all I can say is thank you mom. I love you. Happy Mothers Day.

Brownness

April (By the Numbers)

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

With a new month come the opportunity to see how I did last month. Some things were the same, some better and some worse. I realize now that some habits I aimed for worked much better on the weekdays than the weekends (like drinking or learning), and others I needed to make more of an effort on others(being vulnerable, writing one words). I managed perfect attendance on meditation and reading, and its fair to say that they have become permanent habits, but I cheated a bit as I am a bathroom reader, and so I can hit that habit all day long. So I get to be more specific. It has to be more than the New Yorker when I am crapping, reading has to be the books that I have checked out or the Scientific American magazine which forces me to learn new ideas.

Yet there are habits that I did a lot better in (25 pushups and practicing Spanish) where I came close to perfection (missing only a day the previous month). But then I need to also improve my stretching and exercise goals since I am only got in 16 and 18 days respectively which tells me that I am skimping on the self care. When I don’t take care of my body, it affects me in other ways. Low energy, eating like crap. and giving into carelessness and not being present.

It takes work to keep harder habits, and I also know that it is a reminder of the gaps in my life. Whenever I am doing a habit only half the time, I know I am either not paying attention or I am avoiding it. Take Not drinking on weekdays for example. In theory it sounds simple enough but when I get calls for boys nights out or Taco Tuesday or friends come over, it becomes a lot harder. And then the harder question is friday a weekday (pf course it is) but its also part of the start of the weekend and so I continually struggle with that.

Its the whole point of this exercise, to see the gaps and to get better (hopefully). I hope to see better numbers in May. Happy Monday!