I gotta admit it feels strange to me to wish someone who is not here physically, then again, his presence so deep that many around me cannot stop themself in using his birthday as a reminder of what a life force he was. Silly, prompt in his habits, he snuck into many people’s hearts, and maintained amazing friendships and relationships with a surprising amount of people
Of course, his birthday has to be on St. Patty’s Day, a day of celebration, laughter. music,food, and of course drinking. Growing up, the drinking part didnt endear him to me, but as adults when I could handle him,. I realized that my image of my father had calcified as someone who had to be mature, had to just be a dad, not a friend, or someone to hang with, and that cost my valuable time with him. The regret is strong, but I am also grateful for the time I did get. We turned it around, and I am blessed for that time.
It’s funny how he roams inside my mind all the time, and i let him come out on days like this. There is tinge of sadness I admit but more and more its gratitude for what we created. His lessons I get to teach him grandson. Yes, I wish he was here, but in a way, he will always be there. And that’s something I can live with.
Happy Monday!
Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog 