Category: Food For Thought

This morning I got a chance to talk about an ideal life. When I thought about it, I realized I am as close as to that as possible with the exception of children and having published a novel. Yes those were nice to have’s, but what’ in my life now took several decades to get to. From being a full fledged attorney to being able to lunch with my mom and in laws at a moments notice to having old friendships that are getting better with age, and an evolving marriage, there is not much I would change.

Sure, there are those who are gone who enriched my life, but they also left me with lessons and companionship that led to my current life. Is it perfect? Far from it? But is my life earned? That’s for damn sure. I know I could always want more in terms of things, money, etc, but the way my heart and soul feel means more to me.

And so I begin a new week, knowing I am living the best version possible for me.

Happy Monday!

This past weekend, I as quietly berating myself for all that I didn’t get to. I looked at my to do list, and so much of it was left uncrossed. I wondered what the hell I was doing with my time when it hit me that there was so much I did that made me uncomfortable, forced me to learn something new, pushed myself when I didn’t think I could do something. So I put away the task list, and just made a new list of all that I did that week, really just took in the week and it hit me that the old me would have never imagined how many different ways I had found to make put myself in discomfort.

I find it easy to look at all that I did not get done. In my quest to cross off things, I often forget to track my progress. Take crossfit. I have been crossfitting for the past 3 years, and only yesterday did I manage my first Rx (recommended) weight for a workout, and that was only after urging from three different people.

I get to take time to take it in. We all do. We need to stop looking at all the undone things, and really check in where we are at the current moment. We get to acknowledge ourselves. We get to give ourselves prop for doing the things we don’t want to do, but do them anyway. We get to high five ourselves when we get up at at the first or the third snooze of the alarm and do something in the morning that seems like a chore even if it’s as simple as taking the dog for a walk or jumping in the shower.

In these times, it’s easy to bemoan the heat, fires, hurricanes, elections. the pandemic and lose sight of our own daily actions. The world is a scary place if you allow it to be, or perhaps, just perhaps you focus on finding discomfort and growing. I choose the latter.

What will you do?

I always search for feedback, and I generally assume others are also open to getting it, too. However, I forget that while I may in the mode to be a better version of myself, that doesn’t mean others are looking to do the same.  Sometimes, people are content being who and where they are. They don’t think they need to change because what they are doing is working for them.

There is also a time and place for feedback, and I tend to mistake some conversations and people as open to feedback. It’s hard to be more specific because then this post would sound judgemental. I realize that every person is on their own journey and path. Unless someone asks for directions, or indicates openness, giving unsolicited feedback may would, or worse, create a disconnection with others.

It’s not easy to always notice ways others can do things differently just because I wouldn’t do it that way. I struggle with the idea that not much is in my control except my reaction to it. The more power I give to negative ideas, the stronger they become, the harder it becomes for me to let it be.

And so I use situations I find difficult as feedback to me. I can choose how to experience things. I can choose to let others be. I can use that moment to grow, to get curious, listen, shut my mouth, and just be present. And to keep learning.

Happy Monday!