Brownness

New Friends

I chuckled  a bit as I read my post about old friends because it seemed to me that I was done making friends. And then new people came into my life who I had known for a few hours, but only after a great trip together with them and my wife created a spark, a connection with a whole new group. Right away, it felt right, and as much as I’d loved working out alongside these people, the real joy came from how warm and welcoming they were to my wife.

But it was more than that, the fact we were invited itself made sense once we hung out because of how we all seemed to enjoy each others company. At once, no baggage, no awkwardness, just a willingness to enjoy a place together and share some meals.

Already, we are speaking about making it a annual trip, and I just regret that it took over three years for this trip to occur. I now look forward to many years of this new friendship. I am truly grateful and blessed for the company we get to keep!

Brownness

5 Months to End of 2019

It’s surreal to write July 1st, 2019, and yet in a way it’s not much of a surprise either. With each day, I have an option, do I live a day of vision, or twenty hours to kill. Do I make a difference or do I act indifferent? Each morning I open my eyes to light, and I have a choice to go rise up into it or close my eyes and go dark for longer?  The main difference being is that do I more dark time than light?

It’s not easy being so hard on myself, to feel like I am chasing something, that I am here on this Earth to do more than just exist.  Yet there are times, it feels overwhelming, where I just want to put the blanket over my head and just dream but not make my dreams a reality. There is a balance to be had, and one of the perks of my new accountability group is that we insist on making goals on all areas of our lives including fun and recreation. It’s easy to get lost in tasks or career or health or just one area of your life and neglect the others, but that’s not a life, that’s just passing time.

And so with July 1st here, I look forward to end of 2019, to getting closer to my visions, to accomplishing dreams, to making a difference, to leaving a legacy. That’s the life I desire, but the price of admission comes with grit, consistency, accountability and responsibility.

What will you do to make your vision come true? Happy Monday!

Brownness, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

To Do List

I have a tendency to want to get everything on my to do list done, but I also keep adding things to it. It becomes a game in which even the smallest things get added to this list, and what seemed like a manageable day turns into a rush to complete every single thing on my list.  So I had to take a step back and ask myself, why?  What was the point of all this items? What is causing this need to list and try to get to everything instead of staying present and enjoying the day for what it is.

I wish I could I could I was successful in always dampening this need to do things, but it is getting better. I am more aware now not to allow a to do list to dictate things that are truly me like reaching out to others that I love and care about, recognize the good in others, and really not let my day be run by a series of tasks. Yet I have to admit it’s not easy as I commit to more things for my vision. From volunteering at the Harriet Buhai Center to becoming Vice President of my BNI Chapter, there is a constant low-level anxiety that I am not going enough. And then I take a breath. It hits me that all of this is self-inflicted and easy to take myself too seriously.

So I breathe, and I do the best I can and move on.

Brownness

New Month New Me?

A new month always brings a form of excitement and panic for me. I look at the my year goals and realize with some I am well on my ways and on others I haven’t looked at them since the beginning. Then begins the self-doubt and beating myself for  not doing enough. And then it turns into a whirlwind of emotions and ideas and thoughts and then I take a pause. A breath. Then one more. Then a longer one. And as I calm down I am grateful for all that I have managed. I reflect on what I got to do and how far I have come.

As to the items I haven’t gotten to, I acknowledge my breakdown, but it’s also a time to reassess. If someone is continually overlooked every month, maybe it is not as important to me as I thought or maybe, just maybe, I am scared. And if that’s the reason it means I have to get to it now rather than later. so I start this month with gratitude and hope.

I hope you do, too!

Brownness, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Present Nostalgia

It’s been a mixed bag of emotions.  From berating myself for not doing well at Crossfit to belly filled laughter with an old friend who happens to be a Bhangra celebrity to tearing my hair out at operations at my studios, it has been another full week. I am noticing a new pattern in my life. Challenges come up. I handle them. Then when sometimes I am about to give up, an old picture of something or someone comes up, or I am reminded of an old memory, and so instead of feeling overwhelmed, a sense of peace comes over me.

As I stretch myself with the law office, Ziba, Crossfit, Writing. BNI, Artesia Chamber, it hits me that when I see all these are chores. I get a reminder in the form of nostalgia of how much fun it all can and has been. It is easy to construe all this work or really see it as a form of growth. Sure, it is not possible to do all of them well at the same time, however this is where structure, organization and passion come into play. I can either complain about or do something about it. So I communicate, renegotiate, or complete it. I keep moving, using Nostalgia as my fuel that one day I will look back, and reflect with pride, laughter or a lesson learned.

Happy Monday!