Brownness

Planning For 2020

2020 goals reminder – handwriting on an isolated sticky note, New Year resolutions and goal setting concept

2019 was a year of exploration and getting used to being uncomfortable. Along with some false starts, and taking on more projects that I could handle, I learned that being busy all the time not only does not serve me, it detracts from my quality of life. As the year approaches to a close, I am grateful for all the learning, and now it’s time to put that knowledge to use in 2020. My three overriding goals for 2020 are: 1. Relationships 2. Health 3. Law Practice (in that order of importance).  I get to continually ask if the things that I am doing serve those purposes.  It’s easy to try new, shiny things, but if all I do is jump from one exciting to another, when will I actually execute to success that things that support my progress.

So 2020 is about simplicity, about focus, about being uncomfortable in these three areas rather than all areas of my life. So why these 3 things?  Because they are what bring me joy and fear and accountability. All three allow growth, depth, and learning. All three push me to be the best version of myself. All three get me to be a better Sanjay.  Yet, there is also a growing nervousness in  me that even with three areas, I may be doing too much. Or not enough. Or worse; fail at all three.

So I am looking for tools, people and resources that best support me. What are some of yours?  I would love to know.

Happy Monday!

Brownness

New Friends

I chuckled  a bit as I read my post about old friends because it seemed to me that I was done making friends. And then new people came into my life who I had known for a few hours, but only after a great trip together with them and my wife created a spark, a connection with a whole new group. Right away, it felt right, and as much as I’d loved working out alongside these people, the real joy came from how warm and welcoming they were to my wife.

But it was more than that, the fact we were invited itself made sense once we hung out because of how we all seemed to enjoy each others company. At once, no baggage, no awkwardness, just a willingness to enjoy a place together and share some meals.

Already, we are speaking about making it a annual trip, and I just regret that it took over three years for this trip to occur. I now look forward to many years of this new friendship. I am truly grateful and blessed for the company we get to keep!

Brownness

5 Months to End of 2019

It’s surreal to write July 1st, 2019, and yet in a way it’s not much of a surprise either. With each day, I have an option, do I live a day of vision, or twenty hours to kill. Do I make a difference or do I act indifferent? Each morning I open my eyes to light, and I have a choice to go rise up into it or close my eyes and go dark for longer?  The main difference being is that do I more dark time than light?

It’s not easy being so hard on myself, to feel like I am chasing something, that I am here on this Earth to do more than just exist.  Yet there are times, it feels overwhelming, where I just want to put the blanket over my head and just dream but not make my dreams a reality. There is a balance to be had, and one of the perks of my new accountability group is that we insist on making goals on all areas of our lives including fun and recreation. It’s easy to get lost in tasks or career or health or just one area of your life and neglect the others, but that’s not a life, that’s just passing time.

And so with July 1st here, I look forward to end of 2019, to getting closer to my visions, to accomplishing dreams, to making a difference, to leaving a legacy. That’s the life I desire, but the price of admission comes with grit, consistency, accountability and responsibility.

What will you do to make your vision come true? Happy Monday!

Brownness, Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

To Do List

I have a tendency to want to get everything on my to do list done, but I also keep adding things to it. It becomes a game in which even the smallest things get added to this list, and what seemed like a manageable day turns into a rush to complete every single thing on my list.  So I had to take a step back and ask myself, why?  What was the point of all this items? What is causing this need to list and try to get to everything instead of staying present and enjoying the day for what it is.

I wish I could I could I was successful in always dampening this need to do things, but it is getting better. I am more aware now not to allow a to do list to dictate things that are truly me like reaching out to others that I love and care about, recognize the good in others, and really not let my day be run by a series of tasks. Yet I have to admit it’s not easy as I commit to more things for my vision. From volunteering at the Harriet Buhai Center to becoming Vice President of my BNI Chapter, there is a constant low-level anxiety that I am not going enough. And then I take a breath. It hits me that all of this is self-inflicted and easy to take myself too seriously.

So I breathe, and I do the best I can and move on.

Brownness

New Month New Me?

A new month always brings a form of excitement and panic for me. I look at the my year goals and realize with some I am well on my ways and on others I haven’t looked at them since the beginning. Then begins the self-doubt and beating myself for  not doing enough. And then it turns into a whirlwind of emotions and ideas and thoughts and then I take a pause. A breath. Then one more. Then a longer one. And as I calm down I am grateful for all that I have managed. I reflect on what I got to do and how far I have come.

As to the items I haven’t gotten to, I acknowledge my breakdown, but it’s also a time to reassess. If someone is continually overlooked every month, maybe it is not as important to me as I thought or maybe, just maybe, I am scared. And if that’s the reason it means I have to get to it now rather than later. so I start this month with gratitude and hope.

I hope you do, too!