Last friday was my dad’s 4th death anniversary. It’s a strange thing to write because I’d much rather write how he lived not the day he transitioned from this planet. But it’s also good to mark the day because it allowed me to check in with myself and other loved ones so we could celebrate him once again. And in the midst of there, there was another reminder that I have loved ones coping with other things that may need support with.
Sometimes I forget that people make things look easy or handled or just because it is out of my sight, it means all is well. This weekend was a reminder that I get to continue to check in, to empathize, to ask “are you all right?” “how can I support?” “I hear you” “What’s coming up for you?”
I tend to confuse empathy with trying to fix things people. I keep forgetting that people get to be in their experience, and I get to allow them to get their feelings out. There is no right or wrong, but it does mean that I get to show up for the ones that I love. It means being aware to not be so caught up in my own stuff that I forget to be there for others.
While the weekend began on a sad but celebratory note, it definitely ended with a bang as wedding celebrations for my brother in law began. It was a great reminder that even in these crazy times, it’s possible to connect and/or reconnect with loved ones albeit socially distanced and masked.