Brownness

Tuesday

A day passes, and a mere 10 hours seems to fall behind me as time marked but also well spent.  In some ways, the same things were repeated or learned in a different way, but for once it seems like progress rather than a rehash of a past mistake.  The flicker of the light is there, but I just hope its not a last breath that I am confusing myself with.  All riddles aside, today was officially “I got work done” day, and also a day where we talked normally as if all was right in our lives.  So I am smiling wider than normal today, but the dull ache is there.  Perhaps there so I dont forget the new phase in our lives. 

Feels strange somewhat to not have a person around all the time when they are almost joined with you at the heart.  Probably exaggerated, but the jab in my heart when I think about her feels quite real.  But I remain strong, if not for anything else, just so she is reassured that we are doing well.  A casual day spent in light conversation and serious work, and for once I have the energy to face the night alone and know that dawn of progress slowly alights my life.

Or maybe I just dont have my contacts in, and my glasses are deceiving me.  Whatever it is, illusion, optimism, an out and out lie, this Tuesday was spent a lot more comfortably than in the past.  And for now, that is more than enough.

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