Thats the word that fills my brain most of the time Time and again, I miss the cues. What was a memorable night is now invaded by present thoughs of did I do the right thing? As always I went with my heart but the grumbling inside is disqueting. I wonder if I am just setting up myself to fail or plain deceive. That little voice is wrapped around my mind, what did I do? What can I do? The hesitation builds up, and the discomfort now a physical apparition. Or maybe its all in my head. But the blankness grows in a way I thought I had already conquered. Am I doomed to repeat my mistakes. As a closed one reminded me, we swore we would be happy again regardless of the people around us. And for a while it seemed that I was almost there, but doubt blocks the way to a path that was sparkingly clear in my eyes.
So what to do yaar? Do I keep stumbling along, and pray that I finally fall upon something soft or do I just stop everything, and fix it one by one. I cant even keep my thoughts straight, and I am talking about fixing my life. Maybe thats the joke. I keep confusing others and myself on here, and my weird life just plods on, oblivious to the reality I want, and uncaring as to my dreams.
All these fancy words just to say HUH?