It is never a great feeling when expectations and hopefulness override reality. You get set up for failure when you need something from someone incapable of meeting that desire. I realize that I let wishful thinking take over. I also failed to set boundaries and then act surprised when the other person crosses them.
I don’t mean to be vague, but it is a pattern in my life. Far too often, I allow people in my life take importance in a way and time that could be better spent with the ones who want my support and love. I am far too quick to allow some people leeway that hasn’t been earned but gotten through other relationships. We lack an emotional foundation. We borrow love and caring from other relationships and assume that is enough.
It’s become clear that when I take shortcuts in relationship building, I am setting myself up to get short circuited. When there is a lack of understanding in each others values, there is a greater chance of feeling devalued. To feel like I am giving far too much, and creating an imbalance because the other person is either incapable or unwilling to reciprocate.
And so I go back to gratitude for the ones in my life who match or outdo me in their willingness to be in service, love, support and empathy for each other. And take a pause from the ones who just don’t and so I let go.