November 2025 – Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog

And just like that Zyan turned 3. A blissful blur of 1095 days of us getting the joy that is Zyan. It boggles my mind that we have blessed with so much of him. That’s not to minimize the hard days or the days where you hear your parents tone when speaking with him, but the privilege to even do that is one that runs through our veins. Us. As Parents. The gratitude overflows to cover the days when there is frustration or helplessness because we are also lucky to be surrounded by so many who offer us support, give us a path forward, and there is each of us where we partner to allow an expansion of time for rest for the other, to be sure that not one is stuck doing all the things or doing the same things.

So we alternate, we pass him like a baton because in the end, the destination will matter now how we got there. And 3 years done, poof just like that. It’s hard to imagine days without him when his voice didn’t fill the home or bring such utter joy to those who love him and the lighting up of the eyes. It are those moments that provide the fuel for us to keep going to keep loving to keep growing with him. To celebrate his milestones along with ours. His birthday a reminder of our trip around the sun, 3 blazing stars orbiting together, while the 2 bigger ones ensure he doesn’t veer off into the unknown.

As we begin the 4th revolution, it’s important to parse the lessons, to get better, be around, to teach, to learn, to ensure the time spent is worthwhile and not lost in regret. These reminders more for myself than anyone else. I cannot wait to see what the new year will bring for him, and for us.

Happy Birthday Zyan!

This past weekend my wife’s cousin came down to visit us for Halloween, and spend time with family. Friday was a nice night of trick or treating for Zyan with his cousins and loved ones, and then the night ended with hanging at brother in law’s for his birthday which gave me a moment to take stock to see my wife hanging out with her friends and cousins and seeing Zyan do the same, and it hit me that much of younger social memories were of my own cousins, learning from them, loving them, and taking it for granted they would be social circle.

Perhaps to an outsider it may be strange, but my wife ‘s and my own family allowed us to have a foundation of trust with those who are almost like siblings but with breaks. We experienced vacations, fights, make ups, playtime, and talking with people who accepted us just as we were, and I think that allowed me to grow a bit safer than usual. What I mean is that all of us had someone we connected with, someone we could share things with that we perhaps couldn’t with others, and I think that meant a deeper trusted relationship that went beyond just blood.

Being nosy, I stared at Zyan and his cousins run around like screaming banshees, and in those moments, it warms me to know that besides us he has a deeper pool of family that he can swim to for comfort, for understanding, to be plain silly with. Besides the cousins, he also has their parents who dote on him like he is their own, and that just warms me in a familiar way because I grew in the same manner as if there were multiple set of parents to take care of us.

The weekend already a blur of activity and exhaustion, add daylights, and my son’s continually asking where Ezra is means that yet another brick was laid for his future safety of love, of connection, of being around others who get him right away. And it makes the tiredness totally worth it because we can take comfort in the fact that he will always be surrounded by those who love him unconditionally!