Food For Thought, Inpsiration

Spring Forward

A New Week, three weeks into March and Nowrooz (Iranian New Year) is today. Spring is here, and it’s amazing to think that we are three months into 2017. So where are you with your goals? Are New Year’s resolutions in the background or are you they pushing you forward?  For me, I am on track but then I came to a pause.

It’s been a surreal weekend as I reflect upon how much love my dad invited into  his life and others, and how so many reflected that on Friday. Over the weekend, it hit me that life is not just a series of things to do, but to actually enjoy. I am blessed that I have varied interests, but I am my dad’s son who was happiest when surrounded by others sharing the same passion.

So today, I spring forward into passion and living life not a to-do list. Today, I work on living a life that means more than just being busy but one with connection and joy. Today, I use Monday not as a way to repeat the week before but create new experiences that come readily to mind rather than wonder what the hell I did so far in 2017. So that’s where I am headed? What are you springing forward to?S

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

The week in Review

9626bcc2e5db425aaff8e01956e0ad02Yesterday, I shared with my accountability buddy how I did for the week for my goals and habits. Initially, I felt like a failure because I only got to 80% of the things and missed a few days for daily habits until it hit me that perfection was never the goal. The goal was to do something about the things that bother me. It is very easy to get caught up in failure and beat oneself up, but really the entire point was that I tried, not every day, but it was still 1000 times better than not doing anything at all.

It is not an easy transformation to make from being content to say there is nothing I can do about my goals, habits and results to still giving it a shot. Fear rules that state of mind, but a good fear where I become more comfortable being uncomfortable. It is easy to criticize and point out what I am not going and to see that in others, but much harder to put things into practice. Too often, I look at what I missed rather than what I accomplished. It is a habit I intent to change because while being critical is good, it does me no good to make into a self-worth issue. That said, I am extremely proud of my progress. Just for some perspective, here are my January goals which touch upon New Year resolutions, but are geared towards creating habits. What are yours?

1)Drink 64 oz to gallon of Water Daily

2)Meditate Daily

3)Write Morning Pages Daily

4)Write 300 words daily

5)Date Night Weekly

6)Connect with 2 people Weekly

7)Work on Improving Memory

8)Work on Improving Handwriting

9)Work out 5 days a week

10)             One Hike and/or physical outing

11)              Drink no more than 2 drinks on weekdays

12)             Try a new activity/place this month

13)             2 Legal Blog Posts

14)             Begin Learning on how to do a podcast

15)             Begin learning on how to get more readers for blog

16)             One Boys Night

17)             One Friends Night at least (ideal 2)

18)              Hug and Kiss Daily

19)             Take one Weekday off a month,

20)             Lose 5 pounds

Myself

A New Post or Past: Read the Blog

I am not sure how to begin.  Not much of a surprise there, considering how much of my day I spend not know how it will end.  If there is no beginning and there is no end, what am I really doing?  So lately, I have taken the aimless days back and began filling them with who I really am.  And I got close in these past two days. I read, I blogged, hell I even worked out.  And life appeared to come into focus, but poof it skittered away as soon the light of confusion hit it. 

I am sick of not k nowing.  I am also sick of knowing then realizing that its false.  But most of all, I am sick of wondering when my life willl be complete.  But then I get a call from my nephew or niece, or a quick lick from my dog, or Preeti smiles her preciousness at me, and I wonder if I need anything more.  Is there a balance between completely helpless to wanting to take over the world?  Or am I just socially bipolar?

My Dog

I sit in this quiet room, itching to turn on the TV, or go read, anything to make this minute go by the point where I am still single, still living alone, still without issue.  I want to squeeze the annoying me out and bitch slap myself some nuts.  And for that utterly small moment, I just want to NOT BE.,,

And the quiet allows me that frustration, and slowly massages back into the unsure but believer Sanjay. 

Life will change.  So will I.  Things will get better.  I will not be alone.  I promise all that.

I hope someone’s listening.