I dont think I could have ever imagined how fulfilling a day like this could be until I spent it with my son. It was a whirlwind weekend of library trips, the zoo, park, and spending time with loved ones, but best of all was getting extra kisses and hugs from Zyan. Waking up to see him as my first sight on Sunday morning made for a joy I didnt think possible. My wife ensuring the my day full of reminders of the love we have been blessed with while my heart still shakes in wonder as to our luck. There is so much more to say but the heart feels close to exploding and so I just wallow in the feeling of knowing that I love and am loved deeply.
Of course, there is that familiar pinch of Papa not seeing any of this, of me not calling him Padre, or him usually teasing me in some way, or hugging me way before I ever did, that stupid of regret that just doesnt go away like old gum stuck on a shoe. But also a new angst knowing he didnt mean Zyan, and the things he could have done with him. But that gray cloud now no longer covers my entire sky but it does blot out sun oh ever so often.
But then their faces come into my mind, and I know as unfair as life can seem, there is so much to be grateful for. And so on this day I counted my blessings, including that there is so much Papa taught me that I get to pass on to Zyan. And that alone makes the day a bit brighter!
Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog 