Brownness

A Rough Week

It doesnt happen often, but there are days that stretch way past their best by day, and for me, it was a tuesday where my 3rd motion for a client was denied, and I faced a sobbing client. Not my best moment in that I wish I had said more, done more, prepared more, but deep inside I knew it was a long shot to begin with. That’s the problem with hope and idealistic thinking, it can turn into magical thinking with no basis in reality which leads to a crushed feeling when things don’t turn out the way I’d imagined.

To top if off, that same, another person came and made comments to my sister, showing their disapproval at what they thought I should be as an attorney. Normally, I wouldnt have cared, but already wounded and wondering why I even practiced law, it was the exact type of hot spice that didnt need to be rubbed into my open wound. I texted my wife, stating I just wanted to crawl into bed, and sleep the day away, because nothing I did was right.

And then the self-pity passed as I began work on another matter, after getting reassurances from my wife, my best friend, my good friends and my mastermind, in short, my village. They held space me to vent, to let me feel my shit, and then slowly brought me back to reality. It was just two bad moments, but they too shall pass. There were lessons in them, and they happened for that reason. I also get to work on my setting my own expectations to be equal to the reality at hand rather than going into the best case scenario.

And so today starts another week, another chance to make mistakes, to learn, to grow, to do the right thing, to get wins. All of these things will come so better to be prepared than just assume all will be well. It’s a lesson I continue to learn.

Happy Monday!

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