I love the smell of a blank page, and the blinking icon. The past few years, I have just been sitting and letting my fingers do the talking. A moment pops in my my mind from yesterday morning as I watched Zyan play with this toys. His intense concentration on each piece, and then effortlessly moving onto another as it was completely new just fascinated me. Then it suddenly hit me that I am watching my son play. My son. Words that I didnt think possible, and my eyes filled up. The week had been intense, keeping me busy with a lot of legal work, and then that realization hit as well that Papa would have loved to hear me say that.
In that intense moment, gratitude, sadness and love flooded me, and this is why I love the blank page. Reflecting further, I could say proudly i have come a long way. From doing 5am crossfit class 5 days a week to working on my personal essays, and making sure to spend quality time with my wife and son. To be in support with errands, to acknowledge her hard work with Zyan all day while I am not there. This growth lends itself to a meaningful life. The one thing I dont do is compare myself to others, just my own past efforts and accomplishments. The real competition will always be me.
Yet again, my hands allow me to grow into a better father, husband, son, brother, friend and worker. Its allowing the quiet moments to reflect that can show you how far one has come. Too often, we can just keep looking forward, feeling like that we are behind and not living up to out potential, forgetting that life isnt a video game where only one ending matters, its a continuous puzzle that you get to keep putting together.
Growth means stepping over your discomfort, denial, and desires and going to the land of pushing forward to a different you.
Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog 