Brownness

March 1

by Jemal Yarbrough

Tomorrow begins the stage for a lot of changes in my life.  With one journey finally put behind, I am now ready to take get on several untraveled roads before my 40th birthday.  I know most of us start New Years resolutions at the end of a year so why now?  My reply back is why not?  I had no idea what to expect in December and was completely in the dark.  In a way, the time spent caring for her and others, as well receiving and accepting help from others made me realize how much I missed being the one that always had a plan.

Somewhere, somehow, something ignited in me that I can no longer ignore.  Why 40? because it’s a pinnacle of sorts. It not now, then when?  If I don’t work on losing weight, writing, learning spanish and doing an event, then when?  I just accepted life as it came along, never realizing that life is what you make of it.  Sure, people will think I am crazy, some will just shake their heads because they have heard this before (notably my family), and others will laugh (probably many), but something is different, I have had my Harajuku moment (from the Four Hour Body by Timothy Ferris, http://www.fourhourbody.com ) and I know I want to be better, or maybe just myself again. I want to do all the things I envisioned doing earlier except just got side-tracked.

Don’t get my wrong, I wouldn’t change anything (not the stroke, not the cancer, not the divorce), nothing because each had something to teach and until I got the lesson, they would have continued repeating it.  So tomorrow isn’t just a new day, it’s a 9 month march towards achieving to the best of my abilities, come hell or high water.  I’ll be damned if I enter 40 flabby, unpublished and demoralized.

You are my witness.  Keep me honest.  I will also be blogging regular updates on my new focus.