I am not sure what it is about the Holidays that seems to bring out the best and worst in people. What I really mean is Desis since we actually don’t celebrate Christmas. Oh sure, we can pretend Diwali is a big deal, and we also throw in their Guru Gobind Singh‘s ji celebration, but really I still don’t get what is about the holidays that gets us so emotional. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe everyone is going on as they should, and I am the one that is calling out motivations that are there. Confused? Good. So am I.
I am still on a high about some of my family doing the Thanksgiving Trot with me, and making Tiramisu and cream cheese bites for that gathering. Yes, it’s these little things that get me excited because, let’s face it, I am not getting any younger. I may still feel like I am 21, but the fact is, I am not up on the music, the culture, or really anything to do with being 21 (well maybe, the drinking) including going out or wearing the right clothes (according to my wife, I dress like a 45-year-old which I take to be a compliment). Yet each day, I am thankful for the life I have. I am grateful that I can get out of bed, take my dog for a walk, enjoy the slightly chilly morning, and then do a few other set things like meditating and praying to get my day going.
I am still struggling though. There isn’t a day that I don’t get a reminder that I am not 100% or the person I used to be prior to my surgery. But you know what, that’s OK. I know I am doing my best, and some days that’s all that matters. So this Holiday has a special meaning for me because there was a chance I couldn’t be here to celebrate them. There are some in my life who I wish had stayed, and there are others that are drifting (and that’s OK). So I wake up each morning, and take a few minutes just to be thankful for all that I have. And that’s enough for now.
Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog 