Brownness, My Past, Myself, Writing

Swirling Thoughts

i hope they serve beer in hell
Image by kangarootone via Flickr

1) Remember grabbing KFC in Iran as a weekly ritual and going to the park (5ys)
2) first day in boarding school in India, I had peed the bed and was ashamed (8yrs old)
3) arriving in london to stay with relatives with my oldest sister (10 years old)
4) driving from the airport towards my parents after not seeing them (12 years old)
5) Being humiliated in my 7th grade english class because the teacher felt my English speaking skills werent up to par, and her being unsure if I would pass the class.
6) Getting on the volleyball team and realizing I was a bench player, getting subbed in and my only shot was tipping the ball in and scoring for the team (14 years old)
7) remembering that I followed Sumita (my middle sister) into almost everything she signed up for writing class, student congress, human relations camp, india boarding school
8) Returning to india after receiving green card, and seeing my grandfather for the last time before he passed away (18 years)
9) my first published story “Rain Fire” edited by a dear family friend who recently passed
10) Winning the National Conference of Teachers of English award (included a recommendation from the English teacher who didn’t think I would pass.

I remember being empty. Time ticking away, coffee getting cold and me just empty. It’s as if I had no memories, no past. And then I remembered the no. Mrs. Maruna didn’t think I would ever pass 8th grade English class. I looked up into her unsmiling face, looking for understanding. Nothing. The redness of my shame circled around my cheeks but hidden by the browness of my skin, it just squeezed my heart and soul.

I was single, young, and horny. We chatted online for a few minutes, and after a few sexual innuendos, decided to take our activities offline and meet up. I am ashamed now at my sluttiness, and willingness to meet a complete stranger just to satisfy myself but really not that ashamed to be zooming down on the freeway to meet her at 3am. She had left the door open as we had discussed. In hindsight, it made sense why she did. I shoved the door open, immediately banged my leg on the bed, and to hide the pain told her I needed to take a shower. Perhaps my only concern for safety was to be hygienic. She was already in bed when I walked out. I climbed right in, but couldn’t quite get comfortable. I kept moving around until she asked if her leg was bothering me? Huh? “I said, is my leg bothering you?” removing the blanket to reveal a steel leg. Holy shit, I was about to fuck the terminator. My penis tried to hide inside of me. The meanness in me proved my immaturity and explained why I never again tried to hook up online.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max

That was the inspiration for my post about my online adventure gone wrong, and while I wasnt as bad as Tucker is in his many “misadventures” with women in college, I think I came quite close to being Tucker with my comment that I was about to fuck the terminator. The sad part is that I had done a much longer graphic post mocking the girl and myself, and really made it my “Zinger” story. I usually told it to a group of new people, and usually it would draw huge laughter, but then I realized it didn’t make me look very good to my girlfriend to be. In fact, she was disgusted not at the fact that the girl had 1 leg, but the fact that others laughed so hard. That was probably the first time I realized what an asshole I came off to be. Sure, once people got to know me, they knew different. However, my choice to share this story as a starting off point really just made me another Max Tucker. And that’s not something I wished my legacy to be standing on. Especially on one leg. Yea, I havent matured much.

Brownness, Myself

My Movie Reviews Post: Please Comment

Being forced to stay home for atleast week due to my cornea transplant has led me to a movie watching binge, and while I never back down from watching Never BACK DOWN, I finally got a chance to empty out my netflix queue (who would have thunk it that even that would get stressful?)

I was excited that I could finally rent blu rays as I have become a high definition snob, but was underwhelmed at the lack of selection on the site. After going through all 10 pages of Netlfix selections, I decided upon The Invention of Lying featuring Ricky Gervais (because I heard he was funny), the Brothers Blood (because I have an affinity for Racheal Weisz) and finally 500 days of summer (because I thought it was a racing movie. No idea why.)

I couldnt get through the Invention of Lying because although the premise was intriguing (no one lies in the world and Gervais invents it), it got old pretty fast. I will admit that Preeti’s dazed but determined look to get through the movie with me was inspiting but her declaraion that the movie was “stupid” quickly sealed its fate and led me to not even bother finishing them movie (a rarity since I pride myself on watching through the end no matter what it is).

After a few days of feeling guilty, I finally moved on to The Brothers Bloom but this time I chose (wisely I think) to watch it alone. I love movies. In fact, anyone close to me knows that besides reading, I will watch movies in a second (a recurring complaint from Preeti since that’s all I will watch on cable.

I admit I didnt know that Rachel Weisz was in the movie (if you dont know who she is, google her), but as soon as I saw her on screen playing a rich girl about to be conned by the Bloom Brothers, I knew there was no way in hell I wasnt going to hate this movie. Although a bit long (at less than 2 hours), the concept is that the older brother uses cons to write his younger brothers “unwritten” life. I didnt quite like the whole “mute Asian” sidekick (too old school Jame Bond-ish for me) but I could relate to the theme of deep family bonds and how even when one is rich in material wealth, nothing is as filling as love (sounds a bit hokey I know). Definitely, a movie you can watch with others and get into a discussion about life. I loved the word play and the Bloom Brothers is written extremely well.

So I was on a tear (of sorts) on finishing my queue, and decided what the hell, might as well get the “action” movie out of the way until the beginning told me this is “not a love story,” catching my attention and really just holding on to me till the end while you discuss how someone named Summer really just stole 500 days away from this guy, but fate mattered because in the end, he needed to finish summer so he can finally be with Autumn. I am sure your confused, but I dont want to give away too much except to say this is one you should watch with a significant other. Again, well written, and at some points you will probably hate Summer like I did.

Finally, I got Preeti to sit down (yea, she aint a movie goer), and Law Abiding Citizen with me. Ofcourse, it helped that we kinda ended up watching almost half of it at Hidden Cafe during Hookah, and since we knew nothing about the movie, got totally sucked into staying to watch as much as possible. It’s been almost 2 hours since we watched the movie and although the theme of the movie was straighforward: Dont make deals with murderers, it could kill you, its a bit gory and blunt for almost 2 hours. Gerard Butler and Jamie Fox carry this movie through the end, yet its a bit unbelievable that the avenger is smarter than tthe whole city put together (now, in real life, I KNOW I am smarter than a lot of people), but the warning that your better off killing him since Butler is a human think tank is far fetched but completely believable. A bit preachy near the end but still a good rental (I thought I would buy it, but dont think I would watch it again for a few years).

Phew. I think I will give you some rest tonight from my fake Roger Ebert Ass.