Brownness

Image: A Blog Post

Love of Beauty, Ralph Waldo Emerson
Image by Glenn Franco Simmons via Flickr

mage by Matthew Stillman
Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mess up your hair. If you are wearing makeup – smudge it. If you have a pair of pants that dont really fit you – put them on. Put on a top that doesn’t go with those pants. Go to your sock drawer. Pull out two socks that don’t match. Different lengths, materials, colors, elasticity.

Now two shoes. You know the drill.

Need to add more? Ties? Hair clips? Stick your gut out? I trust you to go further.

Take a picture.

Get ready to post it online.

Are you feeling dread? Excitement? Is this not the image you have of yourself? Write about the fear or the thrill that this raises in you? Who do you need to look good for and what story does it tell about you? Or why don’t you care?

(Author: Matthew Stillman)

So the last prompt is here and its about your image and although it focused on the visual, I realize my dread is more for the lack of future prompts.  The image in my head for myself is ugly in terms of lack of focus and the emptiness of desire for being better.  Physically. I have finally come to terms that while I used to nerd in High school, I have grown up and not the dark, skinny ugly kid anymore.  A particular images comes to mind when I write this.  I was in Junior high and 2 kids were mocking each other and then suddenly one of them says atleast your not him! (point to me).  That moment was one of the only times where I truly felt ugly but the reason was more than physical, it was the realization that the first time anyone in that class had even acknowledged me even thought we had been together for year!  Wow, it took my ugliness to be mocked for me to get any attention, a life lesson that stayed with me a while and made me think I could never get with anyone remotely good looking.  That is the power of bad words, to inflict pain well after the mocking is done.  That’s what my image has come down to, being in that room being repeatedly made aware of how ugly I am.

 

Today, that image has faded away not because it’s not true, but because I no longer give it the power it had on me before.  The image is now that of someone committed, someone who knows what he wants, and someone who will achieve more than what those idiots were going on about in that small room.

#30trust, Myself, Writing

10 Year Text/Tweet: A Blog Post

10 Year Text by Tia Singh
Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine your future self, ie, you 10 years from now. If he/she were to send you a tweet or text message, 1) what would it say and 2) how would that transform your life or change something you’re doing, thinking, believing or saying today?

 

This was an interesting and as the next to last prompt for this writing challenge, a very interesting one at that. I had to actually close my eyes and see myself 10 years from now  (not fat, hair graying but not balding), and for a moment nothing because I was too involved in the now.  I wanted to respond right away without thinking (getting the prompt over and done with) and then it hit me, really hit me, that this challenge was more than just finishing a task, it was to learn, grow and be the person I have always wanted to be.   Instead, some of the prompts became little writing games rather than me finally admitting to myself that the only way I can move on in life is ACT rather than THINK

so the future will simply be? “Write Much?”

 

Overcoming Uncertainty by Sean Ogle
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.”

Due to the writing challenge as well as things finally settling down for me emotionally and mentally, I can say that I am operating on all cylinders in all the areas I wish to improve on.  I would say that I need to keep it going, no matter how minute the progress.

#30trust

Personal Recipe to Being Alive: A Blog Post

For everything you have missed you have gained...
Image by Chapendra via Flickr

Personal Recipe by Harley Schreiber
I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”

(Author: Harley Schreiber)

I NEVER want to be in the same position of wanting and desiring that I was in last year (stroke, cancer, loss of creativity(.  I do not want to stuck in a rut, and worse I do not want to be making the same mistakes and excuses of today.  I see now that whenever I open myself to new challenges (running nowadays), something comes alive in me and I see control in my life.  It’s when I let life happen to me that I stagnate, lost and wondering what happened to the old me.  I see now that I have to keep moving, learning, growing, traveling meeting, and donating (more than just money, but my vision and ideas for music, culture and charity).

Alive-est by Sam Davidson
Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. If we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

When did you feel most alive recently? Where were you? What did you smell? What sights and sounds did you experience? Capture that moment on paper and recall that feeling. Then, when it’s time to create something, read your own words to reclaim a sense of being to motivate you to complete a task at hand.

(Author: Sam Davidson)

Last week, I did something I never thought possible: I ran 3 miles without stopping and under 40 minutes.  Not athletic by any means but I saw concrete results by doing the Insanity work out and although I did not complete it, I got results I never thought possible and now it has turned me on to working out harder and longer and considered doing a mini marathon.  I felt alive, in control, amazed I was doing something I had not done since being in the junior high track team (I was terrible, managed to come last in every long distance race).  I now see that if I break down each day, task, idea, thought, desire to just that one thing, I can get it done.

#30trust

Call To Arms: A Blog Post

Signature of U.S. author Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Image via Wikipedia

Call to Arms by Sasha Dichter
The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.

You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!

(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”)

(Author: Sasha Dichter)

This one is hard to do only because we have been evolving and growing so rapidly and now we have the set goal to grow through many different avenues.  I took this prompt to specifically meant for me, and for that the answer came back up instantly: HR.  I need to get a handle on the growing HR issues we have since we are already at 200 employees, and more than anything else that’s where my expertise as co-owner and general counsel is needed and frankly where I am most comfortable when I take a laser focus to it.  So to that end on Monday, meeting with everyone involved with HR and coming up with a plan for this year as well as for the future going forward.  I will then add those agenda item as a call to arms for me and HR but cannot post them here due to privacy concerns 🙂

#30trust

Intuition and False Starts: A Blog Post

Intuition by Susan Piver
The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you could picture your intuition as a person, what would he or she look like? If you sat down together for dinner, what is the first thing he or she would tell you?

The room quiet but the noises in my soul loud.  A quiet dinner with candles flickering while the shy intuition flitters around my vision.  She has a pained look when she glances at me, her soul a cobweb of unheard pleas and warning.  We stare at each other, neither willing to say what is on our mind.  She, waiting for an inkling of acceptance from me, ready to overwhelm me with her thoughts and opinion, yet we sit across each other, as if in a staring contest while pride and ego have me as their steady customer.

The three things that keep me away from writing are laziness, lack of structure and really not knowing where to begin and so I have many false starts but no complete stories which leads me to wonder if I am capable of writing stories.  I have visions of stories and half started conversations but nothing complete, my stories as incomplete as my life it seems like.

#30trust

Facing and Fearing: A Blog Post

Lost: Missing Pieces
Image via Wikipedia

1) The cost of inaction is not much truth be told if I accept my life as it is.  I have amazing friends, family, wife and work yet what is missing is my creative soul.  I feel I traded that in somewhere in my first marriage and it has taken me decades to realize how much I miss it.  As materially wealthy as I am, my soul is poor and starved for action and the more I have done this writing exercise, the more I see how it is to get out of inaction.

I have so much more to gain by trying that the only failure that will string is the lost chances to write.  I see myself writing regularly and lately my visions for work and love have gotten clearer as if I was in a fog and until writing cleared away the cobwebs, I was merely content.  Now I am full of energy, working out, writing, loving, planning things, it’s as if I am running out of time, and I want to get it all done and now.