Josh Smith – Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog

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Today, I hit 204 pounds, only 14 pounds away from my idea goal. I am also on Lesson 4 of Pimsleur’s guide to Spanish. almost halfway through beginning conversational Spanish. Today was also the last day for my online UCLA class of Bringing Characters to Life. To top of all this, we have finally begun discussion on wedding dates. I should feel satisfied but I am not as it hit me that a lot of what I am doing is being done alone. I have failed to share my passions and victories with the ones I love but worst of all, it does not appear that it matters to them. I am lonely but motivated. Sad but looking forward to life ahead. Angry because I am suffocating with frustrations and old hurts

I know I probably exaggerating but I can’t seem to let go of that feeling, and thus I am still blowing up over absolutely trivial things. I also know that there are some I should avoid, some I should handle gingerly, some with love but most of all some with caution as whatever comes out of my mind, seems to end up on their plate. I have no privacy or at least it feels like it but more than anything else I just cannot believe how I have treated some who are dear to me especially her. I owe her more than an apology, I owe her my life.