Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal, Myself, Random

Rigor and Accountability

Recently, a dear friend asked me my secret to my “rigor” i.e. my commitment to my vision to the various areas of my life. For a while, I didn’t know how to answer that question because to be quite honest, most days I feel like I am playing catch up. It’s easy to disregard the tasks that got done and compare myself to my large declarations for the year. I forget that to eat a whole pie, one has to start with the first diet (oh yeah, I love food).

Each morning, I wake up to a choice. stay put or move forward. There are days I go back to bed, but more often than not, I get up and begin my morning ritual of morning pages, meditation, morning reading, dog walking and sometimes the gym. I do it not out of obligation but the fervent belief in my vision: to be the best version of myself in all areas of my life.  I really sat with that. It wasn’t a wish or a desire. Well, it could be if I did nothing to make my vision come true. You see, vision doesn’t have to be specific, but it takes specific action to realize your vision.  To that end, I now have an accountability group that cares not only about my vision, but is more than willing to call me up when I am not feeling 100%.  I also use a planner, a time for tasks, google sheets to keep abreast on pending tasks and goal. I use many tools to ensure I am on task.

The past few weeks have not been easy as good friends are dealing with personal losses, and I wish I could do more to be in service to them. It’s tempting to lose focus, and allow the day to happen. And I admit there is time like that, but when I take time to reflect, to remember my reasons for being, I can do much for others when my heart is full.  There will be always be a crisis going on. Always a loss. Always something that pulls you toward an issue not of your making, and it’s remembering time and time again that if I am not fulfilled, if I am not committed to my vision, I will not be the best person for those tough situations.

So I train each day. I get up. I focus. I make declarations, and hope that I get to all of them. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Rigor isn’t about getting shit done, but it’s about checking in what it is that I want my life to be. It’s about knowing that I never gave up on myself. That I get to be my word to myself first because if I am not in integrity to myself, how can I believe i can be of service to others? So I get up. Kick ass. Then repeat.

Happy Monday!

Brownness, Food For Thought, Journal

Task Disorientation

03a50aaa6de20f2e334f7298d1524bcb Last week, my laptop stopped working, I had two flat tires, I was unable to get to the gym daily, and had a huge breakdown in communication with a loved one. I stewed about all the tasks I did not get to. Over and over, I kept scolding myself for not holding myself to getting my daily and weekly tasks to a point where I felt like a complete and utter failure. And then I took a breath.  I realized that yes I didn’t get to all my tasks, but how I handled what came up mattered more

I got a new laptop, got a great deal on the tires, and was able to have an intimate and vulnerable conversation with the loved one. Then there were other things, I hit 245lbs on my front squat, learned a bit about how to increase blog subscribers, discussed with my cousin about the podcast, revised a personal essay, saved the company from an HR mistake, and settled a claim for a client who was so grateful she hugged me 4 times.

It hit me that I still needed to not get so caught up in getting tasks done that I failed to accept what my overall goals were for myself. Too often, I lost myself in the to do list, and stopped living life when the whole point of the tasks was to live a life worth living. So I stopped and learned to be grateful for the blessings life threw my way. Thanked the universe for disorienting me, forcing me to slow down and know that no matter that I did not get to all my tasks the way I wanted, but I am still further from my starting point.

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

The week in Review

9626bcc2e5db425aaff8e01956e0ad02Yesterday, I shared with my accountability buddy how I did for the week for my goals and habits. Initially, I felt like a failure because I only got to 80% of the things and missed a few days for daily habits until it hit me that perfection was never the goal. The goal was to do something about the things that bother me. It is very easy to get caught up in failure and beat oneself up, but really the entire point was that I tried, not every day, but it was still 1000 times better than not doing anything at all.

It is not an easy transformation to make from being content to say there is nothing I can do about my goals, habits and results to still giving it a shot. Fear rules that state of mind, but a good fear where I become more comfortable being uncomfortable. It is easy to criticize and point out what I am not going and to see that in others, but much harder to put things into practice. Too often, I look at what I missed rather than what I accomplished. It is a habit I intent to change because while being critical is good, it does me no good to make into a self-worth issue. That said, I am extremely proud of my progress. Just for some perspective, here are my January goals which touch upon New Year resolutions, but are geared towards creating habits. What are yours?

1)Drink 64 oz to gallon of Water Daily

2)Meditate Daily

3)Write Morning Pages Daily

4)Write 300 words daily

5)Date Night Weekly

6)Connect with 2 people Weekly

7)Work on Improving Memory

8)Work on Improving Handwriting

9)Work out 5 days a week

10)             One Hike and/or physical outing

11)              Drink no more than 2 drinks on weekdays

12)             Try a new activity/place this month

13)             2 Legal Blog Posts

14)             Begin Learning on how to do a podcast

15)             Begin learning on how to get more readers for blog

16)             One Boys Night

17)             One Friends Night at least (ideal 2)

18)              Hug and Kiss Daily

19)             Take one Weekday off a month,

20)             Lose 5 pounds