Brownness, Food For Thought, Journal

Task Disorientation

03a50aaa6de20f2e334f7298d1524bcb Last week, my laptop stopped working, I had two flat tires, I was unable to get to the gym daily, and had a huge breakdown in communication with a loved one. I stewed about all the tasks I did not get to. Over and over, I kept scolding myself for not holding myself to getting my daily and weekly tasks to a point where I felt like a complete and utter failure. And then I took a breath.  I realized that yes I didn’t get to all my tasks, but how I handled what came up mattered more

I got a new laptop, got a great deal on the tires, and was able to have an intimate and vulnerable conversation with the loved one. Then there were other things, I hit 245lbs on my front squat, learned a bit about how to increase blog subscribers, discussed with my cousin about the podcast, revised a personal essay, saved the company from an HR mistake, and settled a claim for a client who was so grateful she hugged me 4 times.

It hit me that I still needed to not get so caught up in getting tasks done that I failed to accept what my overall goals were for myself. Too often, I lost myself in the to do list, and stopped living life when the whole point of the tasks was to live a life worth living. So I stopped and learned to be grateful for the blessings life threw my way. Thanked the universe for disorienting me, forcing me to slow down and know that no matter that I did not get to all my tasks the way I wanted, but I am still further from my starting point.

Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

The week in Review

9626bcc2e5db425aaff8e01956e0ad02Yesterday, I shared with my accountability buddy how I did for the week for my goals and habits. Initially, I felt like a failure because I only got to 80% of the things and missed a few days for daily habits until it hit me that perfection was never the goal. The goal was to do something about the things that bother me. It is very easy to get caught up in failure and beat oneself up, but really the entire point was that I tried, not every day, but it was still 1000 times better than not doing anything at all.

It is not an easy transformation to make from being content to say there is nothing I can do about my goals, habits and results to still giving it a shot. Fear rules that state of mind, but a good fear where I become more comfortable being uncomfortable. It is easy to criticize and point out what I am not going and to see that in others, but much harder to put things into practice. Too often, I look at what I missed rather than what I accomplished. It is a habit I intent to change because while being critical is good, it does me no good to make into a self-worth issue. That said, I am extremely proud of my progress. Just for some perspective, here are my January goals which touch upon New Year resolutions, but are geared towards creating habits. What are yours?

1)Drink 64 oz to gallon of Water Daily

2)Meditate Daily

3)Write Morning Pages Daily

4)Write 300 words daily

5)Date Night Weekly

6)Connect with 2 people Weekly

7)Work on Improving Memory

8)Work on Improving Handwriting

9)Work out 5 days a week

10)             One Hike and/or physical outing

11)              Drink no more than 2 drinks on weekdays

12)             Try a new activity/place this month

13)             2 Legal Blog Posts

14)             Begin Learning on how to do a podcast

15)             Begin learning on how to get more readers for blog

16)             One Boys Night

17)             One Friends Night at least (ideal 2)

18)              Hug and Kiss Daily

19)             Take one Weekday off a month,

20)             Lose 5 pounds