AOL – Sanjay Sabarwal's Blog

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I have a confession to make. I have had my Mac Book Pro for about 3 months and I still don’t know how to create folders or save documents in a particular folder. So much for getting the latest technology. So I got another thing added to my to do list: learn how to use laptop. Then I realized that I paid for One to One with Apple for $99, and maybe I ought to use it. so I signed up for a workshop.

Today has been the realization that I have so much clutter in my life because I keep getting things in the wane hope of relieving some immediate pain. No forethought, no wait and see, just buy/subscribe/enroll/buy some more. It has become so bad that a quick look at my email inbox revealed it to be 90% spam, but the sad part is I had subscribed to all these newsletters so who’s the spam really, the email or me?

So slowly I began to unsubscribe and suddenly some of the pressure to read each email alleviated. I started unsubscribing faster, not caring to hear the reasons of any newsletter, and at the end only 2 subscriptions remained that I kept because I actually read them. One is Marc and Angel, (www.marcandangel.com) usually about creativity productivity or just really good ways to improve your life and The Personal Excellence Blog (http://celestinechua.com/blog/) which currently is about fasting (guys on day 5 of fasting). So here I sit with my Yogi Tea (gotta hit Whole Foods ones of these days), feeling like I accomplished something. Then it hit me, that I need to go further, I need to reduce all the clutter in my life, so I deleted half the Apps on my phone which I don’t use (actually more than half), then I started making a list of my bills, and I noticed I was spending money repeatedly on dumb things. So I made a note to unsubscribe from unneeded bills.

You ever wonder if you can just unsubscribe from certain parts of your life? Well you can, you just have to realize how much they clutter up your life and just unsubscribe from the worry, the guilt, the constant feeling of failing, just unsubscribe. Many of my friends have noticed a change in me, and some even wonder how a book could influence me so much (Taking The Leap by Pema Chodron), but it wasn’t the book, it was just the right time. I had over-subscribed to all my emotions, and it hit me that I was completely cluttered up. So I took 3 deep breaths (something I do whenever I remember throughout the day, part of my “mini” meditations), believed I needed this, had the faith, and took the leap to unsubscribe.

I have a long road ahead of me, and part of me still has the sneaking suspicion that this is too good to be true, but I know that’s the old me, jealous that I no longer need anger and hurt to define me. I choose love and faith.