Sitting in the morning quiet with a hot steaming cup of coffee, with Zyan sleeping peacefully near me, I could not help be filled with amazement as this previous weekend, Not only did he get to spend time with his cousins, but sharing his smile and his peacefulness with others brings it own type of joy. Watching my niece Maya sing to him and then feed him as she prepares for her wedding next week brought out a strange but powerful feeling inside me. I played with her the same way she did with Zyan. I remember holding and kissing her and making her laugh. I don’t remember a time when she did not smile when we met each other. And now she is getting married.
Just saying brings up flashes of mornings with Maya and now I realize that I am doing mornings with Zyan. The two are interrelated in a weird way because for me they were the first time I became a Mama and a Papa. Maya’s warmth came from her parents and their willingness to share her and allow her to be whatever she loved. Music was her passion from a young age, and even now its startling to remember I was there in the beginning when she began. I made one of my favorite songs hers to sing, and we will always have that connection.
So back to the weekend, prior to Maya, taking Zyan to see his other cousins also became a highlight as I saw my 4 year old niece Zara hold him and my one year old nephew Ezra gently pat him as if he instinctively knew to do that gesture. I cannot wait for Zyan and Ezra to become best friends. To learn from each other. To teach whatever unique things that come to their mind. And I keep switching between Maya, Zyan, Ezra and Zara and for a moment my world expands to a bigger heart, more love, more things to look forward, cementing my desire to be here for it all. To be the best version of myself so I can, in some small way, contribute to their lives like I did to Maya.
I cannot wait to see Maya married and have her begin her new life with her husband just I cant wait to see the relationships Zyan builds not just with this cousins but with the rest of the family. And these thoughts fill me with joy, gratitude, and impatience.