Brownness

Dearest Papa

Five years. It’s been five years since I heard your laughter or seen your smile or the way you cut fruit to hand out or how you grew you gardened or we discussed yet again why I wasn’t practicing law, or watching you tease mom or make funny noises, anything and everything to make those around you laugh.

It never occurred to me how working with you at Ziba Music would stay with me for the rest of my life, you managed to teach me so much even though I resisted fiercely, convinced my way was better when all along I now manage to emulate you in so many ways. So much time wasted in being right when just being present was enough.

So many times we speak of you and it’s just with longing or laughter or remembering the way you made us all feel. You filled the home with so much of yourself, left so many things for us to remember you for and about, and even now its hard to believe its has been 5 years since we last spoke, hugged or I called you Padre.

Yet with time the sadness dulls, but the fondness grows. The time doesn’t heal. but it makes it clear of how much you touched all of us. The grief comes out in random ways, yet it does not suffocate like it used to. We continue sharing stories, and keeping you alive in our own ways, and at the end of the day, that’s all matters.

Love you Padre. Love you Papa. Miss you more more than words could ever say.

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