The breakdown came early last week when my wife questioned the wiseness of me always being tried and not be present at the end of the day. She wondered if I had to get everything done the way I wanted every single day, and then gave the brilliant suggestion to mix thing up, to not give up so much sleep so I am not constantly exhausted.
This week I am going to ease up on waking up early because while I have been able to get more done in the past few months than I thought possible, I do feel like I am always rushing against time, not really stopping to enjoy what I am doing and really just making it one more task to check off. It’s an old habit of mine. While I always start with the best of intentions, inevitably I slip into making a huge task list that I have to complete by the end of the day.
My need to fill up the day with so much not only makes it certain that I won’t be present, but makes it more about the task than the reasons for it. Which means that I find it hard to course correct or be open to skipping something when it would serve me better to dive deeper into something or perhaps just not doing it so I can be more rested.
So the first thing that gets to go is the waking up at 5am every weekday. While I love my morning time, it also has meant that by the 10 or 11 I can barely keep my eyes open which does not serve me in spending quality time with my wife or others. I also know that if I just even get one hour of extra time I am not only more present but also have more energy. This is where it makes sense to allow my body rest especially as I continue to push myself at crossfit. So the more I rest, the more I am able to get things done that matter.
And so I get to keep playing around with it because there are times its okay to get up early, but making it a daily ritual has had a bigger effect on me than I realized. For me to be at my best, it means I get to give myself the proper recovery anytime.
It’s not easy for me to let go of things, but I also know that I get to shift my language because really I am not letting go of anything, I am just prioritizing what’s more important. It can take time sometimes to figure out what that is which is why getting feedback from others can be so valuable.
What will you do different this week? Happy Monday!