Brownness

Breakage

Photo by Lena Shekhovtsova on Pexels.com

Last week I managed to hurt myself in a ridiculous way through my ego. For the past few weeks my forearm and elbow began to hurt which suggested tennis elbow. My chiropractor told me to do less or no lifting, but that meant no crossfit, an unacceptable solution. So I got treatment, and resolved to get it worked on aggressively.

The came a workout requiring heavy dumbbells, and my good friend challenged me lift the recommended weight (50 pounds.) My ego doesn’t allow me to tell him about my tennis elbow or my uncertainty that maybe that wasn’t the best idea. So I went for it, and despite the twinges the workout went great.

I sprayed and wiped down the weights and then walked over to the rack them, but my righr arm, sore from the exertion, and the tennis elbow flaring up couldn’t hold on, and I dropped the weight on top of left finger. And in that silly way I not only managed my first broken bone (well fingertip) but also guaranteed I won’t be at crossfit for weeks.

And so in my quest to be better, I ignored things, wasn’t present because it was easier to believe in the fantasy that the main would go away by some miracle. Rather than make the smart choice, I crossed over into lala land because it served the story inside my ego and head better. Its frustrates me because as much as I have grown, this tells me I have much, much further to go.

2 thoughts on “Breakage”

  1. Based on your last sentence….you may feel like you have a long way to go (I think we all do) but I suggest you focus on how much you’ve grown. I notice that when I appreciate my own growth, even though it may seem like little, it affects my attitude in a much more positive way. That in turn produces more growth, as I’m sure it would for you too 🙂

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