Brownness

A Fine Balance

Balance is not something you find, but something you create- Jana Kingsford

As the week begins, it is not without a bit of excitement that I dive into work, working out, and hanging out with loved ones. When these things are in harmony, I feel there is not much that stands in my way. But when they are not (which is often), I lose my focus, and pay attention to smaller things that shouldn’t matter in the long run.

It’s not easy to be in harmony all the time, but it also doesn’t mean I stop trying. I got this message as I continue to go to Crossfit regularly and now make sure I make it harder on myself. There are a lot of days that I fail, or I am last or I don’t get near enough reps that my friends do, but its the constant reminder to myself that this is about me.

It’s hard not to make life about others. To get them to be a certain way, to treat you gentler, to be kinder, to be more giving, to be so many things out of my control. It’s hard to let go of that habit of wanting to fix things and people. It’s not easy to learn to just listen, and make the other person feel heard. To keep my mouth shut, and just be present. To seek out loved ones, and just be there, to spend time, to break bread together, to get counsel. To not take my career for granted, to keep learning, to keep trying, to be in service.

So I keep working towards a fine balance. I don’t always succeed, but when I do, the effects are glorious.

Happy Monday!

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