Brownness

Getting Used to Loss

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. It’s hard to believe the loss of another friend, a mentor, someone who has been around in my life for decades and just like that: no more. More death, more grieving. It hits me that as I get near to 50, this is something that is going to happen regularly yet this one is hard to believe.

Someone who I emulated, did all the things I am doing health wise and still not here anymore to enjoy the fruits. I get that we pay for our past actions in some ways, but this one, this one is difficult to swallow. Was it better to just keep doing the wrong thing. Is that the lesson?

Or is that the person went happy even though the time was immensely short here. Was it worth it? I struggle with these questions while new challenges and options come up.

Sometimes it just seems pointless to be on this trackwheel called life. It seems to lead nowhere, and yet sometimes it drops you at paths never imagined.

I miss you, my friend. I miss you, and I will do right by you. I will make you a lesson in own life, but I so wish I didn’t have to learn it by losing you.

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