As things begin to open up, and I continue to try to avoid social media and news (not very well), I wonder what decisions I will make in the coming months. I have read so (too) many articles about a new normal, and it makes me wonder what will I do different. There are things that I will keep A calm morning routine where I drink my coffee, do my morning pages, then meditate and walk the dog. The difference is that I do it in front of my bay window, gazing out, soaking in the sun, hearing the flutter of a slight wind. It is not a sight I would get in the apartment work lounge.
A lot has changed in the past few months, not just personally but professionally as I use technology I thought I wouldn’t have much use for (Facetime, Zoom, Hangouts), and I signed up for new services to expand my learning and business. In this quarantine time, I am grateful for my curiosity, for my legs which allow me to run hours at time, for those who always see the best in me. Yet there have been dark times where I wondered about my path, my past decisions, my future.
I am truly blessed in some ways but there are things that I wish I had that others take for granted. There are flaws inside me I fantasize would dissipate one day. Expertise that I could have gotten if I had started on my life path earlier. Yet, I don’t spend too much of my time in regret for that. I do regret some decisions, and I get to work on reversing those. I know I cant change the past but it doesn’t mean I cannot have a different future with new decisions.