Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Security

As I fiddled around with setting up my new Ring app after someone stole my bike from my new place, it hit me that there is a lot that I have taken for granted in my life. I have been lucky in that not much physical has been stolen from me in life, but not so  lucky in other ways. When the Iranian revolution took place, my life in Tehran turned my entire life insecure. I lived in London for a bit then India, and finally came here when I was twelve years old. It never occurred to me until recently how much of my life contributed to my insecurity about so many things.

From looks, athletic ability, intelligence, personality, hobbies, really you name it, I struggled with it (and to some extent, still do), but what kept me grounded is the people in my life. From dear friends, an unwavering family, a loving extended family, to my curiosity and desire to keep learning, to keep trying, to use that insecurity to push me forward not hold me back.

When my wife informed me that my bike was gone, my initial instinct was two fold. One was a brief sense of loss, followed with the thought that I deserved it since I hadn’t used the bike in over a year. And then reality hit and I accepted. Perhaps the bike would be of more use to that person than me. My sense of violation could and should have been higher, but I no longer willing to stay in an insecure state for too long. It can be motivating in some situations, but in others (such as this), it can return me my old habits of helplessness and inaction.

I can no longer adhere to living in fear about things that I cannot control. And so I chose to be secure in my routine, my activity, my work, my actions, and live my days in acceptance.

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