Last week, I managed to do something that I have avoided for almost 6 months while training for the LA Marathon: Almost tens before my run, I managed to hurt myself because of my own ego and pride. That’s the part that stings most. I cannot blame anyone, and I get to take responsibility and really check in with the fact that I needlessly overdid it by working out a second time on the same day, and decided to lift heavy weights even though I’d felt tired. So why? Why did I chance that?
I didn’t want to say no to a friend when asked to join a workout. I didn’t say I wanted to go lighter because of my back. I didn’t express anything except an enthusiastic yes, while all the while, uncertainty ruled my mind. And so I dove in, and then in round 3 as I picked up the bar, I felt something give in my lower back, and pain ran through my body. And I have no one to blame but myself.
Now, with the run a few days away, I realize that I get to slow down, to focus on recovery and patience. I get to be okay saying no to working out, and to not working out like a meathead. It is a hard lesson, but one I needed to learn because while I preach moderation, I practiced overkill for this race. It is a painful lesson, but also an opportunity to grow once again. Now I count down, and hope that overdoing is not my undoing.