It still feels surreal to write that year down. It reminds me the way I felt when I wrote 1990 (my year of high school graduation), and then 2000 (year I began working at Ziba Music). A thrill of the unknown, of possibility, of transformation. I begin 2020 as a practicing attorney (something Papa always wanted for me), and it feels a bit surreal that I now look forward to going to court rather than dread it. I never imagined that I would WANT to train for a marathon and soon a triathlon. That is not the life I had in mind when I was 18 and 28.
As I near 48, it hits me that much of my life would have sounded foreign to the high school me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am glad that some parts of me remain. My desire to do better, to write, to keep growing, to be in service, but I also relish that so much of my insecurity and lack of self worth has dissipated (not completely). I never thought I would be in the position to mentor others when I myself relied so heavily on others to get me to this point in my life. Yet, it makes so much sense. To do what others have done for me over the years.
I start this decade looking forward to being unrecognizable to my 48 year old self, and a total stranger to my colleagues when I go for my 30 year high school reunion (God, that makes me feel old) later on this year. I am blessed and grateful to be able to write these words as I know there are so many not here anymore. And that’s another thing that strikes me. I never understood that with age also comes loss. It’s been a hard lesson, but one I know will continue and one that I will have to accept.
So 2020 here you are, and here I am. Let’s make for a great decade!