The more I fight the notion that I have no choice, the more it hits me that besides breathing, eating, and drinking water, everything else is a choice. It sucks. It’s so much easier to blame others, or events than take responsibility for my emotions. It is exhausting to step up and say yea x or y happened, but how I respond to it always comes down to me. It is easy to point fingers at others, and think or say that what they said or did caused me x or y emotion, but ALWAYS it comes back to me that it’s MY choice to respond that way. Every. Single. Time.
So I take time today to reflect on my choices, and really dive in, is what I am thinking or doing really serving me? It is not an easy thing. I struggle to dampen my emotions, yet I also know that if I continue on this path of feeling sorry or powerless, it will not only make life harder, it disconnects me from my loved ones. I keep forgetting that when I am not my genuine self either to myself or to others, I cheat myself and them of the opportunity to grow from those interactions.
Yet it is not easy. I struggle daily to not take it personal. To not be in judgement or resentment or really any emotion that does not reflect my responsibility in it. And so I begin all over again. A new Monday, to be in responsibility, respect and non judgement. Wish me luck.