There are moments in my life where the silence is the only partner I have. In that part of the woods, emotions crash onto my brain, and I realize that it takes my every breath and thought to not be engulfed in despair. So I end each night tired, lost, and just a bit more broken.
But then daylight. The box, the meditation, the writing, the connection with a loved one, the legal, the speaking to with my best friend, the warm touch of my wife, mother and perhaps my family and the pain recedes just a tiny bit. But if I give myself space, images of the ones lost come to me, and so I run and deny and keep busy and keep moving just so I am not so focused on their long gone smiles and the warmth they provided.
I know it’s life. I know I am not unique. I know. I know. I know. But the pain doesn’t stop. And the silence gets deeper. The woods get darker. Yet I keep marching on, knowing somewhere, at some point, there will be a day break. And I won’t be alone. Or quiet. Till then I keep marching on.