Food For Thought, Inpsiration, Journal

Continual Learning

Every time I feel like I have come to an understanding of myself, I discover I still have a ways to go. After Papa and my maasi passing, there has been an obsessiveness to accomplish things and create a legacy. Yet in that drive to get things done, I sometimes place more value on tasks rather than just stepping back, just BEING, present and connected to my loved ones.

Each day, I wake up with a racing mind on my to do list, and I sometimes lose sight that is OKAY to just be. Here. Now. To hear what others have to say, to listen, to be connected. More and more, I am in a rush to get to the next thing, and there is just so much I am missing out, so many I am not there for, and it hits me that it cannot just be about my getting things done. It is about learning to open my heart, and ears and be in service.

There are times I get it right, but more often than not I fail. And so I get to pick myself up and continue learning on how to be a better version of myself. Self-pity, loathing and playing victim not only weaken me, they contribute to me being even more disconnected from others.

So I take a breath. I slow down. I look up. And then I will seek support so I can learn to be not so focused on tasks. Wish me luck.

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