Last week, I began saying affirmations as often as I remember. The main one being “I am a peaceful soul.” Yes more often than not I was at war with my emotions. From irritation and anger, to grief and self-pity, it felt as if the affirmation awoke parts of me that I had been unaware of. Then it hit me how much I judgement I sat all day long, and as I did the affirmation it highlighted how much of a problem my negative thinking created in my life.
It didn’t help that it was a rough week as I missed my aunt and dad, and it was hard to continue saying I am a peaceful soul when I felt anything but peaceful. Yet I also knew that my rationalizing my constant judgement about others and my emotions were not helping, in fact, were making my days a lot harder than they needed to be.
There were some wins, moments I was proud of myself, ways I could be in contribution to others, and it hit me that kind of work took time. Transformation and negative self talk did not just go away. I also was fighting a river of negativity and judgement with a few dribbles of positive affirmations, but still it starts with one drop. So I keep working on myself, with the end in mind.