The term “irreconcilable differences” is first reason given on California forms for marital dissolutions (the States’s fancy way of saying divorce). It is a catch-all phrase when partners can no longer continue in a marriage. It explains the failure of a marriage in a way that few words can. I am struck by how much is covered in that simple phrase, and how often I get calls from people who have given it there all, but can no longer continue. It still surprises many when I advise them to seek counseling, to try all ways before continue on the path for divorce because it is a slow process and one hard on both parties as they share with the court their finances, the inner workings of their relationship, and can lay bare what made the marriage fail.
It is not for everyone. We all have had bad fights, and there are times we struggle with our spouses, but filing is a weapon used when all negotiations have failed. When truly the parties are at an impasse and cannot resolves their differences. It is not a decision to make lightly or in the heat of emotion. So truly try everything else before making that call.