No more posts about this. No more peering into my heart and mind. It hurts too much. No more writing about it. I get to let time do what it does best:heal. Yet it’s more than that. I don’t want to share my pain with so many. Or with anyone. Each day blends into so many missed opportunities so speak my mind, but life intervenes. Old issues spring up as road blocks, and I choke on the unfairness of it al.
30 days since you have been gone, but no more counting aloud. No more wondering what if. No more waking up and imagining it all to be a dream. It is time to bury the words, thoughts and feelings. The only way to peace is to accept you are gone, and we are left with beautiful memories.
I get to work on old and new facts, and deal with the life that I have not the one I wish I had. I get to accept that this too is part of life, and going on and on about it serves no one; least of all me. So I hold on to your memories tight, use them as my crutch and strength, and go out back to the life in front of me, old issues and all, and begin work on fixing it.
30 days. A lifetime of memories. What more could I ask for?